Delivery Style: dialogue

Dialogue joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Vibrator vs Man: The One Thing He Can Do Better

    An obnoxious drunk in a bar keeps hitting on a lesbian waiting for her date. The drunk just won’t take no for an answer.

    “Tell you what, I’ll sleep with you if you can name one thing a man can do for me that my vibrator can’t!” the lesbian smirks.

    The obnoxious drunk thinks for a moment. “Okay, let’s see your vibrator buy the next round of drinks!”

  • Garys Dick In Fruit

    Garys Dick In Fruit

    We aren’t falling for it again Gary, we know your dick is in the fruit!!!

  • Seven-Year-Old’s Budget Marriage Proposal Plan

    A seven-year-old boy is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces, “Me and Janie is getting married.”

    “Oh?” says the mother. “And how old is Janie?”

    “Five,” replies the boy.

    “And where will you live?” asks the mother.

    “Well,” says the boy, “Janie’s room is bigger than my room, so we’ll live in her room.”

    “How about expenses?” asks the father. “What are you going to do for money?”

    “I get a dollar a week in allowance,” says the lad, “and Janie gets seventy five cents. If we put them together we’ll be okay.”

    “I see,” says the father. “But what are you going to do if you have children?”

    “Well,” says the boy, “we’ve been lucky so far.”

  • Settling Out of Court on the Golf Course

    Two queers were enjoying a pleasant round of golf when a foursome of Hell’s Angels began hitting into them from behind. One queer finally becomes angry and turns to his partner,”If those big bad boys hit into us one more time, Seymour, you fall down and act like the ball hit you very very hard in the head. We’ll just sue those naughty boys.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
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    Sure enough, next hole they drove the ball directly into the gay twosome. “Now, Seymour, now! Fall down. Well show them…”

    The Angels walk up to the standing and lying queer and say, “What the hell’s going on here?”

    “You just hurt my friend Seymour really bad, and we’re going to get a lawyer and sue you….how do you like that?”

    The Angel replies, “Oh Blow Me!”

    The queer exclaims, “Seymour, Seymour, get up! They want to settle out of court!”

  • Fuzz versus Tits: A Street Corner Debate

    Two prostitutes are standing on a street corner. One says to the other, “Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The other replies, “No, but I’ve been swung around by the tits!”

  • Condom Saves the Day

    “First,” said the playboy, “I’m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose.”

    “Oh no you’re not,” said the girl.

    “Then I’ll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks.”

    “Oh no you’re not.”

    “Then I’ll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks.”

    “Oh no you’re not.”

    “Then I’m going to make violent, passionate love to you.”

    “Oh no you’re not.”

    “And I’m not going to wear a condom either!” said the guy.

    “Oh yes you are!” said the girl

  • Misunderstood Cable Request Goes Wrong

    I met this gal in a bar, and one thing lead to another… I said, “Let’s go back to my place.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    She said, “Oh, do you have cable?”

    I said, “No… But I have some old ropes that should hold just fine…”

  • Dead Pussy Bus Ride Misunderstanding

    An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, “I have a dead pussy.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.”

  • Wife Plays Dead During Doggie Style

    Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

    “Does your wife ever … well, you know … does she … well, let you do it doggie style?” asked one of the two.

    “Well, not exactly,” his friend replied, “She’s into the dog trick aspect of it.”

    “Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?”

    “Well… not exactly. More like she rolls over and plays dead.”

  • Teresa Easter Alan

    Teresa Easter Alan

    Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?

    Dad: because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter.

    Son: Thanks dad.

    Dad: No problem Alan.