Delivery Style: dialogue

Dialogue joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Woman Asks Doctor to Change Vibrator Batteries

    A woman gets her vibrator stuck inside her. She goes to the doctor to remove it and the Dr. says “it’s too far up there, I can’t reach it enough to pull it out”.

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    The woman then replies “if you can’t get it out, can you at least reach it well enough to change the batteries?”

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  • Native American Escort Outprices Historical Real Estate Deal

    A guy visiting Arizona wants to get some.

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    He finds a pretty escort of Native American origin.

    **Girl**: My fee is three hundred dollars.

    **Guy**: Whaaaat? Your forefathers only wanted twenty-four bucks for the whole of Manhattan Island!

    **Girl**: True enough… but Manhattan Island just lies there.

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  • She Missed the Point Entirely

    A young lady goes to her professor and says “Sir, I know I’m failing this course, but I really need to pass it, and I’m prepared to do anything to see that I do!”

    The professor says, “So, would you-”

    “Yes!”

    “-be prepared to-”

    “YES!!”

    “…study?”

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  • Zodiac Dinosaur

    Zodiac Dinosaur

    SO… WHAT’S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?

    DINOSAUR

    BUT THAT ONE DOESN’T EVEN EXIST

    NONE OF THEM EXIST

  • Johnny’s Surgery Gets Out of Hand

    “Doctors and Nurses”

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    A woman brings ten-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her ten-year-old daughter.

    Johnny’s mother says, “Let’s not be too harsh on them… they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.”

    “Never mind sex” replies Mary’s mother. “He’s taken her fucking appendix out!”

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  • Gay Hide and Seek Goes Hilariously Wrong

    Two gay guys are in their apartment. The first guy says, “Let’s play hide and go seek. If you find me, I’ll blow you.”

    The second guys says, “What if I can’t find you?”

    And the first guy says, “I’ll be behind the piano.”

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  • Virgin Bride’s Three Failed Marriages Explained

    A middle aged man and woman meet, fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride says to her new groom, “Please promise to be gentle,… I am still a virgin.”

    The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married 3 times before.”

    The bride responds… “Well you see it was this way: My first husband was a psychiatrist and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it.”

    “My second husband was a gynecologist and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.”

    “And my third husband was a stamp collector and all he ever wanted to do was……………..God I miss him!”

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  • Young Mike Tyson’s Early Development Question

    Mike Tyson came home from 2nd grade and said “Mom, I’ve got the biggest dick in my class – is that cuz I’m black?”

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    “No son, that’s cuz your 18”

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  • Marine’s Unexpected Request Leaves Sex Workers Surprised

    The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.

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    She said “well, he was a big muscular and handsome marine”

    “Well, what did he want to do?” they all asked. She said “I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn’t have that much”

    “So I told him a blow job would be $75, but he didn’t have that much either”

    “Finally I said, well, how much do you have”? The marine said that he only had $25. The new hooker said “well, for $25 all I can give you is a hand job”

    He agreed and after getting the finances straight, she said “he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then the second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand…..”

    “Oh my god” they all exclaimed, “it must have been huge…. then what did you do?”

    “I loaned him $75!” she said.

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  • Woman Waits for Extra Large Condom Buyer

    A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells extra large condoms.

    He replies, “Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?”

    She responds, “No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?”

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