Delivery Style: dialogue

Dialogue joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Odyssey Named After

    Odyssey Named After

    odysseus: we now set out on our odyssey.

    sailor: [raising hand] what’s an odyssey?

    odysseus: a long journey named after the only survivor.

    sailor: oh ok wait what.

  • Black Republican Committee

    Black Republican Committee

    Did you bring the black guy? No… did you? I thought you had him.

    DURHAM REPUBLICAN PARTY

    BLACK REPUBLICAN COMMITTEE

  • Rest In Peace

    Rest In Peace

    Wife: Babe you know if you die, I’m definitely coming with you.

    Husband: I can’t even rest in peace.

  • Margaret Glasses

    Margaret Glasses

    Seriously Margaret… Don’t you think it’s about time you got glasses?

  • The Only Way I Can See the Numbers

    When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, “Ha! That’s not going to help!” I replied, “Sure, it does.”

    “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

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  • Is That All You People Think About

    Two elderly Jewish men are strolling down the street one day, when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign posted that says, “Convert to Catholicism and get $50.”

    Murray stops and stares at the sign. Abe turns to him and says, “Murray, what’s going on?”

    “Abe,” replies Murray, “I’m thinking of doing it.”

    Abe says, “What are you, crazy?”

    Murray thinks for a minute and says, “Abe, I’m going to do it.”

    With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church and comes out twenty minutes later with his head bowed.

    “So,” asks Abe, “did you convert?”

    “Yes I did,” says Murray.

    “Did you get your fifty dollars?” asks Abe.

    And Murray says, “Is that all you people think about?”

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  • Our Prayers Have Been Answered

    A lady approaches a priest and tells him, “Father, l have a problem.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”

    “What do they say?” the priest inquired.

    “They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?”

    “That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “but l have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and l will put them in with my two male parrots who l taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to worship.”

    “Thank you!” the woman responded. So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. The priest’s two parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

    The lady puts her female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, “Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?” One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the bibles away. Our prayers have been answered!”

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  • Spice Girls Robots

    A young boy was watching TV with his father while his mother prepared the dinner in the kitchen. After a while, the kid wanders into the kitchen and asks, “Mummy, are the Spice Girls robots?”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    His mother replies, “No, dear, they aren’t. Why do you ask?”

    “Well, daddy just said that he’d like to screw the arse off the black one.”

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  • Faster Than a Speeding Bullet

    One afternoon Superman was out flying around. Crime was slow that day, so he decided to go over to Spiderman’s house.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Supe: “Hey Spidey, let’s go get a burger and a beer!”

    Spidey: “No can do, Supe. I’ve got a problem with my web-shooter. Can’t fight crime tomorrow without it.”

    So Superman heads over to the Bat Cave.

    Supe: “Hey, Batman! Let’s go get a burger and a beer!”

    Batman: “Not today, my friend. The BatMobile is down and it’s gotta be fixed. Can’t fight crime tomorrow without it.”

    Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air. Cruising around, he flies over a penthouse apartment balcony where none other than Wonder Woman is lying, spread-eagle and stark-naked. Supe gets a brilliant idea: “They’ve always said I’m faster than a speeding bullet and I’ve always wondered what she’d be like with all her Wonder Powers.”

    So he zooms down, does her in a flash and is gone before anyone can notice. All of a sudden Wonder Woman sits up and says, “What was that?!”

    The Invisible Man gets off her and replies, “I don’t know, but my ass hurts like hell!”

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  • Social Security Kind

    Nina and Liz are having a conversation during their lunch break.

    Nina asks, “So, Liz, how’s your sex life these days?”

    Liz replies, “Oh, you know. It’s the usual, Social Security kind.”

    “Social Security?” Nina asked quizzically.

    “Yeah, you get a little each month, but it’s not enough to live on.”

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