ME: I SHOULD PROBABLY PULL OUT
OTHER ME: DUDE, THEY’VE ALREADY DONE THE AUTOPSY
Dialogue joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

ME: I SHOULD PROBABLY PULL OUT
OTHER ME: DUDE, THEY’VE ALREADY DONE THE AUTOPSY

interviewer: any experience operating heavy machinery?
guy: does your mom count?
interviewer: lmao fuck you’re hired

A boy asks his mom, “Why am i black and you’re white?”
Mom replied, “Don’t even go there. The way that party went. You’re lucky you don’t bark”

moderator: your word is ‘seaward’
spelling bee contestant: C-U-N…
moderator: please no jesus stop

Looking to purchase a kitten under 10$. Must be in mint condition
I have a black baby
Looking for a kitten but thanks
Lol it is a kitten

Reporter: So Fred, you’re 97! What’s your secret?
Fred: I sucked a cock for a watch once.
Reporter: I meant secret of your longevity.
Fred: Oh! Fruits and vegetables.

OH MY! YOU HAVEN’T TOUCHED AND CARESSED ME LIKE THAT IN YEARS! WHY DID YOU STOP?
I FOUND THE TV REMOTE…

[watching the Lion King]
ME: I’ve never seen this before.
WIFE: Oh dear, better get the tissues ready.
ME: I hardly think I’m going to jack off to a bunch of lions Karen.