I don’t really find back of the neck tattoos attractive on a woman, but I do appreciate having something to read during sex — so thanks, ladies!
Delivery Style: misdirection
-
(Brad Wilkerson) I thought my leaf blower costume was a great
(Brad Wilkerson) I thought my leaf blower costume was a great idea until every guy in the neighborhood dressed up as a leaf.
-
I’ll bet it’s hard being an elf. Not only do you spend your
I’ll bet it’s hard being an elf. Not only do you spend your entire life making toys, but you also have a little elf dick.
-
Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part
Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part was getting them out of my scrotum.
-
Judging from all the gagging and vomiting, I’m guessing the
Judging from all the gagging and vomiting, I’m guessing the other passengers had never seen somebody eat a bunch of melted Reese’s cups before. At least not out of a diaper.
-
When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning
When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning green, I started to panic. Then I realized I’d mistakenly purchased “Shrek” condoms.
-
The new guy I’m dating is going to be so happy about his
The new guy I’m dating is going to be so happy about his birthday present. It was a no-brainer, though, getting him water skis, since he he’s been telling me for weeks he’s into watersports.
-
With my pants around my ankles, I’m having a jet of water shot
With my pants around my ankles, I’m having a jet of water shot up my ass. Guess which room of the house I’m in? Yep, your mom’s bedroom.
-
None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my
None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my vestigial tail because now they think I’m a demon.
-
What the fuck? That disgusting “scat party” had absolutely
What the fuck? That disgusting “scat party” had absolutely nothing to do with jazz vocal improvisation using nonsense syllables! It was gross. Luckily, I can get it out of my head by showing off my barefoot skiing skills at tomorrow night’s watersports party.
