A guy was walking to a bar, and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex.
Delivery Style: Punchline
Punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
Chili at the West Texas Cafe
A young cowboy walked into a seedy cafe in a small town in West Texas. He sat down at the counter and noticed an older cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a bowl of chili.
After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked, “If you ain’t goin’ to eat that, do ya mind if I do?”
The older cowboy slowly turned his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner said, “Nah. Go ahead.”
Eagerly, the young cowboy reached over and slid the bowl over to his place and started spooning it in with delight. He got nearly down to the bottom before noticing a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too…”
-
A Blind Man Walks Into a Store
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing-eye dog. Once inside, he suddenly picks up the dog by its leash and begins swinging it around in circles over his head.
The panicked store manager runs up and asks, “Sir, sir! Can I help you?”
The man replies, “No thank you. Just looking around.”
-
Old Cowboy Gets a Clean Shave at the Barbershop
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he has trouble getting a clean shave because his cheeks are wrinkled with age.
The barber pulls a small wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and says, “Put this inside your cheek. It’ll stretch the skin and make it easier to shave.”
The cowboy does as he’s told, and the barber gives him the cleanest shave he’s had in years.
As he’s leaving, the cowboy asks, “What would happen if I accidentally swallowed that little ball?”
The barber thinks for a moment and says, “Just bring it back in a couple of days, like everyone else does.”
-
New Prisoner Tries the Numbered Joke System
A man is sentenced to prison for a non-violent crime. He’s scared, but on the first night he notices something strange.
It’s after lights out and all the inmates are in their cells, when a voice from one of the cells yells out, “2467!” And all cells resound with laughter.
After a brief silence, another voice shouts out, “7113!” Again, all the other inmates burst out laughing in their cells.
Puzzled, he asks his neighbor what’s going on. “We love to tell jokes at night,” comes the reply. “But since we’ve been here so long we know them all and have them numbered. So we just yell out the number!”
This goes on for some time. At last, wanting to get in on the action, he decides to try his luck. He boldly shouts out, “557!”
But there is an awkward silence. After a while the sounds die down and it seems like everyone is settling down for bed.
He asks his neighbor what the problem was.
“What can I say, kid. It’s just your delivery that stinks.”
-
Lawyer and Doctors on a Plane
A lawyer sits in the aisle seat on a plane next to two doctors and kicks off his shoes.
The doctor in the middle seat says, “You know what, I’d really like a coke.”
The lawyer says, “I’ll get it for you.” He gets up and while he’s gone, the middle doctor picks up one of the lawyer’s shoes and spits in it.
When the lawyer returns, the doctor in the window seat says, “You know what? I’d like a coke too.” The lawyer obliges and gets up, during which time the doctor in the window seat spits in the lawyer’s other shoe.
When the plane lands, the lawyer puts his shoes on, immediately realizes what happens, and says, “Why must this animosity continue between our professions? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?”
