I don’t think I’d be so tired masturbating to porn here at work if I wasn’t up all night masturbating to porn at home.
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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A commercial just warned me not to buy their product if I have a
A commercial just warned me not to buy their product if I have a bowel blockage. I was surprised because I didn’t think plungers needed advertising.
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Girls say they want a funny guy, but leave off “who’s not fat”
Girls say they want a funny guy, but leave off “who’s not fat” — like I say I want a nice girl but leave off “who’s hot, rich and into butt stuff.”
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I thought about getting a snippet of a language I don’t speak
I thought about getting a snippet of a language I don’t speak tattooed on me. How’s this “camel cock” from ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics?
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You can have my penis when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
You can have my penis when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. Gun. I meant gun.
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*RING* “Hello?” “What’s up?” “Aw, man, I was right in the middle
*RING* “Hello?” “What’s up?” “Aw, man, I was right in the middle of masturbating.” “Then why’d you answer?” “I thought it might be my mom.”
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Fucking a vacuum is perfect because it can’t tell anyone that
Fucking a vacuum is perfect because it can’t tell anyone that you’ve been fucking it whether its mouth is full or not.
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“Fuck!” -Misaki, age 8 “Fuck!” -Yuuto, 7 “FUCK!” -Takaya, 8
“Fuck!” -Misaki, age 8 “Fuck!” -Yuuto, 7 “FUCK!” -Takaya, 8 Teaching the English word FORK to Japanese kids is hard.
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Wow. I thought she said she was “a bukkake fan.” Turns out she
Wow. I thought she said she was “a bukkake fan.” Turns out she said she was “a big hockey fan.” I guess I’m not getting into her “penalty box” either.
