Today I bought two bananas, an apple, and a pack of cigarettes. The cashier looked at me and said, “You must be single, huh?” And I’m like, “How do you know that?”
She said, “Because you’re ugly.”
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Brown and Rhymes with Snoop
A man got fired from his job for having sex during work hours. When his boss asked why he did it, the man replied, “I don’t know man, she was just lying there naked. I kinda got the hint so we fucked.”
He was never hired at another morgue again.
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Here Comes Trouble
Dad one sees dad two:
“oh no! here comes trouble!”
Dad two: “oh boy they let you out of the house?!”
Dads:
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Math Textbook Problems
Him: Damn girl are you a math textbook?
Her: No why?
Him: Cuz you have a lot of fuckin problems
@Gucci_Gameboy @Donny_Drama
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Magnifying Glass Penis Enlarger
“Man buys product that promised to enlarge his penis and gets a magnifying glass”
Homem compra produto que prometia aumentar pênis e recebe lupa
PROCON Campina
PREFEITURA MUNICIPAL DE CAMPINA SECRETARIA MUNICIPAL DE ASSUNTOS JURÍDICOS Departamento de Proteção ao Consumidor
disque 151 www.procon.campina.sp.gov.br
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Mellencamp
When the dump is so big you accidentally give yourself a Mellencamp
mellencamp
To take a dump so large that the prostate is stimulated and the male ejaculates a little while taking the shit. Called a mellencamp because “it hurts so good.”
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Loggins Attempts
I just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing “Danger Zone” five times.
Apparently, I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
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World’s Biggest Fan
I took my friend to see the world’s biggest fan for his birthday.
He was blown away.
