I believe God puts people in our lives for a reason. For example, I believe He brought me the new receptionist so I can stare at her tits all day.
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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My boyfriend loves getting my titty pics on his cell phone. The
My boyfriend loves getting my titty pics on his cell phone. The dude in line in front of him at Starbucks doesn’t like it nearly as much, though.
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When people call me a “fucking idiot,” I consider it a
When people call me a “fucking idiot,” I consider it a compliment. After all, it’s my life’s ambition to do nothing but fuck like an idiot all day long.
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I don’t think “It’s cumtastic!” was the compliment Sister Mary
I don’t think “It’s cumtastic!” was the compliment Sister Mary was looking for regarding her new cell phone.
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I know they say that when it comes to sex, “a hole is a hole,”
I know they say that when it comes to sex, “a hole is a hole,” but it’s been a week now and my wife still hasn’t gotten her hearing back.
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My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a
My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a family evening at home: Don’t block the TV and don’t wake me if I fall asleep.
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The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is
The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is when some housewife naively asks me to make sure that the carpet matches the drapes.
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What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination?
What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination? Fuck me if I know!
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Those taking the similes quiz at home will remember we asked you
Those taking the similes quiz at home will remember we asked you to finish the following: a) As old as _____. b) As heavy as _____. c) As cold as _____. The correct answers are as follows: a) shit. b) shit. c) fuck.
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I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer,
I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer, because now I feel compelled to keep checking out his cock.
