My wife and I have decided we don’t want any kids.
We’re going to tell them in the morning.
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Businessman’s Unique Cravings: Homesick Humor
A businessman walks into a brothel.
He asks the lady working the front desk, “I’d like a room, and for an extra $500, I want your oldest, fattest, meanest, most boring-in-bed woman—and a ham sandwich.”
The receptionist looks at him, confused, and says, “For that price, we could get you our youngest, kindest, slimmest, kinkiest girl and a steak dinner with all the trimmings.”
The businessman replies, “Lady, you don’t understand. I’m homesick.”
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Light blue
What’s blue and weighs very little?
Light blue.
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He was gladiator
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing. He was gladiator.
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A meth head actor
What do you call an actor who’s addicted to meth?
A meth-head actor.
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Family Ties on His Final Goodbye
An elderly Jewish man is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers, “Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?”
And Sarah says, “Yes, I am here.”
He then says, “Are my children—my wonderful children—here with me?”
And they reply, “Yes, Father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last.”
And he says, “And my beautiful grandchildren… are they here with me as well?”
And they too tell him that they are here.
The old man lays back quietly, closes his eyes, and says, “If everybody is here… why is the light on in the kitchen?”
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Bowling Teams: Brunettes vs. Blondes on a Bus!
Two bowling teams—one team of brunettes and the other of blondes—get on a double-decker bus together. The brunettes are on the bottom, and the blondes are on the top floor.
The brunettes are having the time of their lives, drinking and partying, when one says to her friend, “It’s very quiet upstairs.” So they go up to investigate.
When they arrive, they see all the blondes staring toward the front of the bus and hanging on to the seats with utmost fear.
A brunette asks, “What’s wrong?”
A blonde replies, “It’s OK for you—you’ve got a driver!”
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Worms, Wagers, and Wily Whippersnappers!
A boy and his grandfather were digging in the backyard when the grandfather pulled a long earthworm out of the dirt.
The boy says, “Hey, Grandpa. I bet you five bucks I can put that worm right back in the ground.”
“No way that’s possible,” says the grandfather. “You’re on.”
The kid goes inside, gets a can of hairspray, and sprays the length of the earthworm, which goes completely stiff. He takes it between his fingers and slides the worm right back into its burrow.
The grandfather shakes his head and, with an “I’ll be damned,” hands the kid a five-dollar bill and heads inside.
After a while, he comes back out to the yard and hands the kid a five-dollar bill.
“Grandpa,” the kid says, “you already paid me.”
“I know,” the grandfather replies. “That’s from Grandma.”
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He couldn’t complain
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there.
He said he couldn’t complain.
