Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A young boy was watching TV with his father while his mother prepared the dinner in the kitchen. After a while, the kid wanders into the kitchen and asks, “Mummy, are the Spice Girls robots?”
His mother replies, “No, dear, they aren’t. Why do you ask?”
“Well, daddy just said that he’d like to screw the arse off the black one.”
A married guy was out getting a little “strange stuff” when he suffered a massive heart attack and died. The undertaker called his wife as he was preparing the body, saying, “Your late husband died with a tremendous erection that we can’t get to go away… What would you like us to do?”
To which she replied, “Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me… Cut it off and stuff it in his ass.”
When she went to view the body she noticed a somewhat pained expression on her deceased husband’s face as he lay in the casket. Bending over him she said softly, “Hurts, doesn’t it?”
One afternoon Superman was out flying around. Crime was slow that day, so he decided to go over to Spiderman’s house.
Supe: “Hey Spidey, let’s go get a burger and a beer!”
Spidey: “No can do, Supe. I’ve got a problem with my web-shooter. Can’t fight crime tomorrow without it.”
So Superman heads over to the Bat Cave.
Supe: “Hey, Batman! Let’s go get a burger and a beer!”
Batman: “Not today, my friend. The BatMobile is down and it’s gotta be fixed. Can’t fight crime tomorrow without it.”
Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air. Cruising around, he flies over a penthouse apartment balcony where none other than Wonder Woman is lying, spread-eagle and stark-naked. Supe gets a brilliant idea: “They’ve always said I’m faster than a speeding bullet and I’ve always wondered what she’d be like with all her Wonder Powers.”
So he zooms down, does her in a flash and is gone before anyone can notice. All of a sudden Wonder Woman sits up and says, “What was that?!”
The Invisible Man gets off her and replies, “I don’t know, but my ass hurts like hell!”
This kid walks into a whorehouse dragging a dead frog on a string behind him. The kid walks up to the Madame and says that he wants a girl.
The Madame says to the kid, “Sorry… You are too young.”
The kid promptly puts a $100 bill on the counter and the Madame says, “One girl coming right up…”
As the Madame starts walking away the kid says, “Hold on a minute… I need a girl with active herpes.”
The Madame says, “Sorry kid… All my girls are clean.”
The kid promptly places another $100 bill on the table and the Madame says, “One dirty lady coming right up!!!”
The kid goes upstairs, fucks the girl, and when he comes back down the Madame can’t help but ask, “Why did you want a girl with active herpes?”
The kid replied, “You see… it goes like this… I went up, fucked that girl and got the herpes. I’ll go home and my babysitter will be there and I’ll fuck my babysitter and she’ll get the herpes. Then my dad will come home and take the babysitter home and fuck the babysitter and he’ll get the herpes. Then he’ll come home and fuck my mum and SHE’LL get the herpes. Tomorrow morning my dad will go to work at 8 AM. At nine the milkman comes… and HE’S the bastard that killed my frog!!!!!”
Q: What did one sperm cell say to the other sperm cell?
A: Last one there gets a rotten egg!
Nina and Liz are having a conversation during their lunch break.
Nina asks, “So, Liz, how’s your sex life these days?”
Liz replies, “Oh, you know. It’s the usual, Social Security kind.”
“Social Security?” Nina asked quizzically.
“Yeah, you get a little each month, but it’s not enough to live on.”
This woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a coyote runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a cowboy runs right in front of her and catches the coyote by the hind legs and starts screwing it.
“Oh my God!” she exclaims and drives into town to find the local law. She sees the local sheriff’s car parked in front of the town bar.
“It figures,” she says as she storms inside.
The first thing she notices is an old, old man with a long white beard sitting in the corner jacking off.
She runs up to the sheriff who’s sitting at the bar with his drink. “What kind of sick town are you running here?! I drive into town and almost run over some cowboy sodomizing an animal… and then… I come in here… and see this old man in the corner jacking off right in public!”
“Well, ma’am,” the sheriff slowly replies, “You don’t expect him to catch a coyote at his age, do ya?”
They say if you have positive thoughts about something, it will happen. Well, I’ve been thinking positively about my neighbor’s 19-year-old daughter, but so far, no luck. I think maybe my wife’s negative thoughts are interfering.
