Some people teach their dogs to fetch and sit.
Bill Belichick teaches his dog to draft defensive backs from obscure Division II schools in the second round.
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Insufficient Funds ATM
I think banks should do a better job by keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fifth one I’ve been to, kept saying “insufficient funds” 🙄😐
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Dirty Riddles and Cheeky One-Liners
How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?
“How come?”What’s the definition of a teenager?
God’s punishment for enjoying sex.Did you hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
They’ll never see you coming.What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M;&M.;What does Kodak film have in common with a condom?
They both capture that special moment.Define Transvestite:
A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
A scrotum pole!What’s the ultimate in rejection?
When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.Why don’t debutantes go to orgies?
There’d be too many thank you notes to write.What is every Amish woman’s private fantasy?
Two Mennonite!Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don’t need a partner.Can you say three two letter words that denote small?
Is it in?What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year. -
Condom Saves the Day
“First,” said the playboy, “I’m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose.”
“Oh no you’re not,” said the girl.
“Then I’ll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks.”
“Oh no you’re not.”
“Then I’ll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks.”
“Oh no you’re not.”
“Then I’m going to make violent, passionate love to you.”
“Oh no you’re not.”
“And I’m not going to wear a condom either!” said the guy.
“Oh yes you are!” said the girl
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Stimulus Check Midget Hookers
Me when I realize I should have used my stimulus check on bills instead of midget hookers with pink wigs
Someday I’ll learn.
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Manners at the Dinner Table Apply Everywhere
The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband’s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. “I demand proper manners in bed,” she declared, “just as I do at the dinner table.”
Amused by his wife’s formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. “Is that better?” he asked, with a hint of a smile.
“Yes,” replied the young woman, “much better.”
“Very good, darling,” the husband whispered. “Now would you be so kind as to please pass the pussy?”
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Dead Pussy Bus Ride Misunderstanding
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, “I have a dead pussy.”
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.”
