Delivery Style: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Flavored Condom Taste Test Gone Wrong

    I recently tried some of these new ‘flavoured’ condoms. I bought one of each flavour they had, and tried each one in turn every time I got a shag.

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    My girlfriend likes to lick each one before I insert it in her, just to see what flavour I was wearing.

    The first night she said “Mmmmm, Cherry flavour”,
    The second night she said “Mmmmm, Mint flavour”,
    The third night she said “Mmmmm, Strawberry flavour”,
    and so on, until we had reached the final flavour,
    and she said “Mmmmm, Cheese flavour”

    “Cheese flavour ??” I said “I haven’t put one on yet!”

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  • Dogs Chase Cars

    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

  • Caviar and a Blowjob

    What’s the difference between caviar and a blowjob?

    No difference — you don’t get either of them at home!

  • Miced Onions

    It’s a good idea to pay close attention to the recipe when you cook. That way you won’t spend a whole day looking for miced onions.

  • Secretary of Defense

    If the top doctor and top lawyer are called the Surgeon General and the Attorney General, how come the person who heads up the military is called the Secretary of Defense? I suppose it’s because he can type really fast.

  • Doctor, It Only Hurts When I Masturbate

    A man goes to the doctors and says “Doc, you gotta help me!”

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    The doctor says “What’s your problem?”

    The guy says every morning I wake up with my “morning flagpole”.. give the missus a quick one, then go to work. On the way to work I car pool with the next door neighbor’s wife who gives me a blow job during the ride to work.. Once I get to work I do some work and at morning tea time I go into the photocopy room and have it off with one of the young office girls. At lunch I take my secretary out to a hotel and give her a good bonking… For afternoon tea I give the boss’s wife a good servicing.. I then go home and slip the maid a few inches.. Then at night I give the missus another screw……

    “Well” said the doctor. “What’s your problem?”

    The guy says “Well, it hurts when I masturbate.”

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  • Condom Math Gone Wrong

    A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to do the wild thing. When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him, “What happened to the other five condoms?”

    His nervous reply was, “Er, I masturbated with them.”

    Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, “Have you ever done that?”

    “Yeah, once or twice,” he told her.

    “You mean you’ve actually masturbated with a condom before?” she asked.

    “Oh,” he said, “I thought you were asking if I’d ever lied to my girlfriend.”

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  • The Space Program

    If they ever start taking civilians into the space program, I’ll be the first to sign up. Not because I’m into science or exploring or stuff, but because I owe a lot of money to some really mean dudes in Jersey.

  • Russian Condom Crisis Gets American Solution

    Gorbachev called Clinton with an emergency: “Our largest condom factory has exploded!” the Russian President cried. “My people’s favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!”

    “Mikhael, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you,” replied the President.

    “I do need your help,” said Gorbachev. “Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?”

    “Why certainly! I’ll get right on it!” said Clinton.

    “Oh, and one more small favor, please?”

    “Yes?” “Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10″ long and 4″ in diameter?”

    “No problem,” replied the President and, with that, Clinton hung up and called the President of Trojan.

    “I need a favor, you’ve got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia.”

    “Consider it done,” said the President of Trojan.

    “Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10″ long and 4″ wide.”

    “Easily done. Anything else?”

    “Yeah,” said the President, “print ‘MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE MEDIUM’ on each one.”

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  • Professor Who Changed My Whole Life

    In college, I took a class from a professor who changed my whole life. I can’t really remember what his name was, or what the class was, or even which college it was, but I found that if you sit behind a really tall guy and kind of slouch down in your chair you can drink Scotch right from the bottle and not get caught.