Still smells fresh
Tide
Delivery Style: subversion
Subversion joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Goldilocks Was Lazy
If you ever think you’re lazy, just remember…
Goldilocks decided to take a nap in the middle of a burglary…
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Money can’t buy happiness. Except the kind of happiness that can
Money can’t buy happiness. Except the kind of happiness that can be found with multiple orgasms brought on by well-made vibrators.
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She loves me… She loves me not… She loves me… She loves me
She loves me… She loves me not… She loves me… She loves me not… Hell, as long as she keeps putting out and doesn’t divorce me, what fucking difference does it make?!
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(Stephanie S. Thompson) Every rule has it exception — even the
(Stephanie S. Thompson) Every rule has it exception — even the Golden Rule. If you enjoy receiving anal sex, for example, it would be wise to get permission before you “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
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They say it is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on. I
They say it is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on. I don’t know about that — it probably depends on your particular fetish.
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Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth
Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth paying more for. For example, I got this DVD titled “Mothers I Guess I Probably Would Be Willing to Fuck If I Couldn’t Do Any Better And Was Really Drunk And Knew None of My Friends Would Ever Find Out About It.” Surprisingly, it was just awful. That’s the last time I buy porn at the dollar store.
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There’s a girl in my office who pipes up at the end of every
There’s a girl in my office who pipes up at the end of every sentence and tries to finish it for you. In response, I’ve started ending all my sentences with “that fucks a donkey.” It hasn’t really stopped her from trying to finish my sentences, but it’s gotten me a LOT of attention from the Human Resources folks.
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I have one religious tenet when it comes to sex: Ask and ye
I have one religious tenet when it comes to sex: Ask and ye shall receive. Except for anal.
