Wordplay Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Rolling Down Hills in Tires

I had a great childhood. One of my favorite things was to roll down hills in tires.

Those were the Goodyears.

I went to the doctor and said I’ve got an earache, inflamed sinuses, conjunctivitis, and headaches, but he was dismissive.

He told me, “It’s all in your head.”

I’m going on a first date with a vegetarian girl I met online.

I’ve never met herbivore.

I found $20 lying on the ground and asked myself, “What would Jesus do?”

So, I turned it into wine.

A friend of mine had a penis extension.

And now his house looks stupid.

Hear about the blonde who got fired from the M&M factory?

She kept throwing away all the Ws.

I recently opened a company selling trampolines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets are going through the roof.

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night.

I’m in the hospital now, waiting to be seen.

Why did SeaWorld close?

It was being reporpoised.

Why did David Hasselhoff start going by just “the Hoff”?

It was less hassle.