Format: dialogue

Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Settling Out of Court on the Golf Course

    Two queers were enjoying a pleasant round of golf when a foursome of Hell’s Angels began hitting into them from behind. One queer finally becomes angry and turns to his partner,”If those big bad boys hit into us one more time, Seymour, you fall down and act like the ball hit you very very hard in the head. We’ll just sue those naughty boys.”

    Sure enough, next hole they drove the ball directly into the gay twosome. “Now, Seymour, now! Fall down. Well show them…”

    The Angels walk up to the standing and lying queer and say, “What the hell’s going on here?”

    “You just hurt my friend Seymour really bad, and we’re going to get a lawyer and sue you….how do you like that?”

    The Angel replies, “Oh Blow Me!”

    The queer exclaims, “Seymour, Seymour, get up! They want to settle out of court!”

  • Fuzz versus Tits: A Street Corner Debate

    Two prostitutes are standing on a street corner. One says to the other, “Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”

    The other replies, “No, but I’ve been swung around by the tits!”

  • Condom Saves the Day

    “First,” said the playboy, “I’m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose.”

    “Oh no you’re not,” said the girl.

    “Then I’ll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks.”

    “Oh no you’re not.”

    “Then I’ll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks.”

    “Oh no you’re not.”

    “Then I’m going to make violent, passionate love to you.”

    “Oh no you’re not.”

    “And I’m not going to wear a condom either!” said the guy.

    “Oh yes you are!” said the girl

  • Misunderstood Cable Request Goes Wrong

    I met this gal in a bar, and one thing lead to another… I said, “Let’s go back to my place.”

    She said, “Oh, do you have cable?”

    I said, “No… But I have some old ropes that should hold just fine…”

  • Dead Pussy Bus Ride Misunderstanding

    An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, “I have a dead pussy.”

    The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.”

  • Wife Plays Dead During Doggie Style

    Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

    “Does your wife ever … well, you know … does she … well, let you do it doggie style?” asked one of the two.

    “Well, not exactly,” his friend replied, “She’s into the dog trick aspect of it.”

    “Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?”

    “Well… not exactly. More like she rolls over and plays dead.”

  • Teresa Easter Alan

    Teresa Easter Alan

    Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?

    Dad: because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter.

    Son: Thanks dad.

    Dad: No problem Alan.

  • Salsa Class Misunderstanding

    Salsa Class Misunderstanding

    Instructor: Welcome to salsa class! Who’s ready to learn how to dance?

    Me, hiding a bag of tortilla chips: There’s been a misunderstanding.

  • Sex Worker’s Bleeding Problem Baffles Doctor

    A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. “Any specific problems you should tell me about?” the doctor asked.

    “Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems to bleed for hours,” she replied. “Do you think I might be a haemophiliac?”

    “Well,” the doctor answered, “Haemophilia is a genetic disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a haemophiliac. Tell me, how much do you lose when you have your period?”

    After calculating for a moment, the hooker replied, “Oh, about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess.”

  • Three Phases of the Male Life Cycle

    A young woman asks her mother, “Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?”

    The mother, surprised, answers, “Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, a man’s penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his sixties, it is like a Christmas tree.”

    “A Christmas tree?”

    “Yes. Dried up, and the balls are there only for decoration.”