Format: dialogue

Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Three Stages of Breast Evolution

    A young man asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?”

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    The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After sixty, they are like onions.”

    “Onions?”

    “Yes. See them, and they make you cry.”

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  • Mother’s Unexpected Backyard Activities

    Salesman to boy answering the door… “Hi, is your mother in?”

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    “Yes,” said the boy, “she’s out in the back yard screwing the goat.”

    “I don’t believe it,” said the salesman.

    The boy says: “Come and see for yourself.”

    So the salesman looked in the back yard, and sure enough, there was the goat screwing the mother.

    The salesman said to the boy, “Isn’t she afraid she’ll get pregnant?”

    The boy says… “N-a-a-a-a-a-a-“

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  • Baby Worried About Lost Teeth

    Little Jenny came home from school one day and she ran straight to the bathroom and started to cry. Her mother, concerned about her went in and asked what was wrong.

    “Well,” replied Jenny, “we just learned in health class that the baby comes out where the boy’s penis goes in. Is that true?”

    “Sure honey, but that’s nothing to cry about,” said her mother.

    Then Jenny replied, “But when I have Johnny’s baby, I’m afraid it’ll knock out a few of my teeth!”

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  • Quick Finish Line: Newlywed Expectations Crash

    The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, “You know, you’re really a lousy lover!”

    The husband replies, “How would you know after only 30 seconds?”

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  • Bob Peters’ Unfortunate Barbershop Visit

    A man was looking all over town to find a friend of his. He walked down the street and came to a barber shop. He stuck his head inside and asked, “Bob Peters here?”

    The barber replied, “Nah, we just do shaves and haircuts.”

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  • Dad’s Mechanical Secretary Problem

    A young boy asked his mother, “Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?”

    “Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?” replied by his mother.

    The young boy answered “The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass off his secretary.”

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  • Woman Asks Doctor to Change Vibrator Batteries

    A woman gets her vibrator stuck inside her. She goes to the doctor to remove it and the Dr. says “it’s too far up there, I can’t reach it enough to pull it out”.

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    The woman then replies “if you can’t get it out, can you at least reach it well enough to change the batteries?”

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  • Native American Escort Outprices Historical Real Estate Deal

    A guy visiting Arizona wants to get some.

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    He finds a pretty escort of Native American origin.

    **Girl**: My fee is three hundred dollars.

    **Guy**: Whaaaat? Your forefathers only wanted twenty-four bucks for the whole of Manhattan Island!

    **Girl**: True enough… but Manhattan Island just lies there.

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  • She Missed the Point Entirely

    A young lady goes to her professor and says “Sir, I know I’m failing this course, but I really need to pass it, and I’m prepared to do anything to see that I do!”

    The professor says, “So, would you-”

    “Yes!”

    “-be prepared to-”

    “YES!!”

    “…study?”

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  • Zodiac Dinosaur

    Zodiac Dinosaur

    SO… WHAT’S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?

    DINOSAUR

    BUT THAT ONE DOESN’T EVEN EXIST

    NONE OF THEM EXIST