“The guy I dated tonight turned out to be a sadist,” reported the girl.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosFormat: dialogue
Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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IT Guys Such Dicks
Why are IT guys such dicks?
Last week I drove two hours to push the power button on a server that three separate people assured me was already on.
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Japanese Restaurant Chili
Guy: Hey I’d like to have some chili
Waitress: I’m sorry sir but this is a Japanese Restaurant
Guy: *stretches his eyes* Herro, I’d rike to have some chiri
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Michelangelo Dicks Out
“Yeah I can paint your ceiling”
Michelangelo scoffs to himself
“Gonna paint a bunch of dudes with their dicks out tho”
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Dad’s Terrible Timing With Life’s Harsh Truths
Morris asks his son, now aged 10, if he knows about the birds and the bees.
“I don’t want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears.
Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong.
“Oh dad,” he sobbed, “at age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grown-ups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
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Virgin Birth Claims Destroyed by Medical Reality
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter’s swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, “Your daughter is pregnant.”
The mother turned red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex before marriage.
The doctor faced the window and silently looked out to the horizon.
The mother became enraged and screamed, “Quit looking out the window! Aren’t you paying attention to me?”
“Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma’am. It’s just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they’d show up again and confirm this very rare immaculate conception.”
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Seven-Year-Old’s Budget Marriage Proposal Plan
A seven-year-old boy is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces, “Me and Janie is getting married.”
“Oh?” says the mother. “And how old is Janie?”
“Five,” replies the boy.
“And where will you live?” asks the mother.
“Well,” says the boy, “Janie’s room is bigger than my room, so we’ll live in her room.”
“How about expenses?” asks the father. “What are you going to do for money?”
“I get a dollar a week in allowance,” says the lad, “and Janie gets seventy five cents. If we put them together we’ll be okay.”
“I see,” says the father. “But what are you going to do if you have children?”
“Well,” says the boy, “we’ve been lucky so far.”
