Four moles were crawling up a tunnel to the surface.
The 1st one said, “Ah! I can smell the flowers!”
The 2nd one said, “I can smell the fresh air!”
The 3rd one said, “I smell the dirt..”
The last one said, “I only smell molasses.”
Format: dialogue
Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Billy Bob and Joe
Two hicks, Billy Bob and Joe, were working on their farm when they were approached by a traveling beautiful busty blonde. She looked them up and down and said, “Howdy, boys. I’m feeling a bit randy, and you two look like you could satisfy my itch. Would you two fine, strapping young men like to help a girl out?” The men are definitely down, but she holds up a couple of foil wrappers. “But you will have to wear these condoms, because I don’t want to get pregnant.” They agree, and soon the three of them are having a fantastic and memorable ménage à trois.
Several months go by. Then Billy Bob turns to Joe and says, “Hey Joe? You remember that blonde from a few months back?”
“Yeah, what about her?”
“Well, do you really care if she gets pregnant?”
“No, not really. You?”
“No. So why don’t we take these things off?”
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Three men on death row
There were three men on death row: a German, an Italian, and an Irishman.
The warden gave them a choice of how they wanted to die:
• Be shot
• Be hanged
• Be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow, painful deathThe German stepped up first.
“Shoot me right in the head.”Boom. Instant.
The Italian went next.
“Just hang me.”Snap. Done.
Then it was the Irishman’s turn.
“I’ll take some of that AIDS stuff.”
They gave him the injection.
He collapsed on the floor… laughing.
The guards looked at each other. What was wrong with this guy?
Through tears of laughter he said, “Give me another one of those shots!”
They shrugged and gave him another.
Now he’s howling, doubled over, can barely breathe from laughing.
Finally, the warden snapped, “What is wrong with you?!”
The Irishman wheezed, “You idiots… I’m wearing a condom!”
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Chemistry Humor: NaBrO to the Rescue!
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
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A woman visits her doctor…
Woman: Doctor, I simply don’t know what to do! Every date I go on, at the end, I find myself in bed. I am powerless to refuse any man, and afterwards, I keep feeling like a fool and a slut.
Doctor: That’s no problem, young lady. Just let me prescribe you some pills, and you’ll have no trouble refusing.
Woman: What? No, Doctor, I don’t need that. Could you prescribe me some pills so that I won’t feel like a fool and a slut?
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Johnny Cash and Elvis Tattoos
Girl walks into a tattoo shop and asks for Elvis on one thigh and Johnny Cash on the other…
Tattoo artist says alright let’s get to work, but I’m gonna need you to take off your pants so they don’t get ink on them. After a few hours he finishes both tattoos. she looks in the mirror and freaks out. “These don’t look like Elvis or Johnny at all” she says, crying.Sure they do, says the artist. Here I’ll prove it. The artist goes outside and grabs a man standing on the corner and brings him into the shop and asks who are the people in these tattoos? The man looks intently and after a couple mins says, “I don’t know who that is on the left and I don’t know who that is on the right, but the one in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson!”
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Shopping List Showdown: Lingo and Laughter!
You say “toh-MAY-toh,” I say “toh-MAH-toh.”
You say “soothing lotion for breastfeeding mothers,” I say “boob lube.”This is why you shouldn’t let me write the shopping list.
