Image Macro Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Home Alone With My Penis

When I’m home alone with my penis

Crush: I just cut off four inches of my hair

Me: so

Crush: four inches is a lot

Me:

When you’re fucking a girl in the butt and a balloon of heroin plops out

Don’t mind if I do.

Constipated woman ‘lost 10 years of memory’ after straining too hard on toilet

me coming out of the chipotle bathroom:

I have no memory of this place.

White person: Wow this sure is spicy!

Me: It’s a salad

White person: The sauce is burning me up

Me: …the ranch?

White Person: Ow ouch ouch

I want to spice things up.

But you know that I’m allergic to chilli.

I mean in the bedroom.

I can’t eat them anywhere in the house, Alice.

The first thing black ppl say when it’s a mass shooting.

WHEEL OF FORTUNE

IS IT BAD THAT I LAUGH WHEN THIS GUY SAYS “I’D LIKE TO BUY AN I”

I’m not allowed to sunbathe on the roof anymore

I’D LIKE THE PORN IN MY ROOM TO BE DISABLED

WE ONLY HAVE REGULAR PORN YOU SICK BASTARD