Format: list

List comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Top 14 Recent Headlines You May Have Missed

    The Top 14 Recent Headlines You May Have Missed

    14) Alec Baldwin is out for six weeks after spraining his brain doing a Trump impression.

    13) Experts say some of the people can be fooled all of the time.

    12) Army Corps declares tribal casino the best site for a pipeline crossing.

    11) Newly sentient computer commits suicide after seeing the newspaper.

    10) Reduced viewership leads the NFL to introduce Assless Chaps Thursday Night Football and Catch-a-Pass/Do-a-Shot Tuesday Night Football.

    9) Vera Wang changes her first name to “Huge.”

    8) New Starbucks “Baby Jesus Christmas Cup” infuriates pro-Santa groups.

    7) Kanye West is being treated in a psychiatric hospital for behaving like Kanye West.

    6) Dolly Parton’s sales sag, but not as much as her other assets.

    5) The War on Christmas is now longer than WWII, yet the U.S. is no closer to victory.

    4) Well-dressed homeless guy shouting on a corner is actually Mel Gibson.

    3) Canada closes its borders to stave off an influx of Hollywood refugees.

    2) Pregame anthem protests intensify during National Accordion Week.

    And the #1 recent headline you may have missed…

    1) Keith Richards continues to defy 2016: “C’mon, ya pussy, do yer worst!”

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  • Top 15 Signs It’s Too F*#king Cold (Part 2)

    The Top 15 Signs It’s Too F*#king Cold (Part 2)

    15) Suddenly every woman’s T-shirt looks like Jennifer Aniston’s.

    14) Lines wrap around the block for help-wanted signs at crematoriums.

    13) Bipartisan agreement emerges to relocate Trump’s inauguration to Mar-a-Lago.

    12) The annual Polar Bear Club outing gets moved to the YMCA indoor pool.

    11) You can see your breath and can’t wear flip-flops (Southern California only).

    10) Every fire hydrant has two or three dogs stuck to it.

    9) Dick Cheney’s cold, dead heart raises Wyoming’s temperature by five degrees.

    8) The Kardashian clan has buttoned their blouses all the way up.

    7) Climate-change deniers start scheduling their annual “Global warming, my ass!” press conferences.

    6) Hillary Clinton breaks out her ice tiara.

    5) You gather the family around a witch’s tit for warmth.

    4) The state of Florida asks President Trump to build a wall on its northern border.

    3) Ann Coulter’s heart just asked for a sweater.

    2) The Devil just ordered red thermal “Make Hell Great Again” long johns.

    And the #1 sign it’s too F*#king cold…

    1) Junior just chipped his milk teeth on your wife’s nipples.

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  • Unexpected Products from I Can’t Believe!

    Unexpected Products from I Can’t Believe!