Format: narrative

A man is invited to his girlfriend’s home for dinner to meet her family. He purchases a motorcycle the day of the dinner for an amazingly low price. The man selling the motorcycle throws in a free tub of Vaseline with the purchase. He tells the buyer that he is selling it for such a low price because this particular motorcycle can’t have a wet carburetor. The moment there is a hint of rain, it must be covered in Vaseline. The buyer agrees and can’t wait to show up at his girlfriend’s parents’ home riding a motorcycle.

She warns him that her family has an unusual dinner tradition: the first person to speak must do all the dishes. He thinks it’s odd but agrees to the dinner.

He drives up to the house and puts the tub of Vaseline in his pocket and goes to the door. His girlfriend opens the door and whispers to him that dinner has already begun and he must remain silent or else do all of the dishes. He walks past the kitchen and sees what looks like a week of dirty dishes piled up. He certainly is not going to speak first and be stuck with that mess.

He sits down and sees a family eating dinner with their heads down, eating in complete silence. He decides he can get someone to speak. He throws his girlfriend on the dinner table and has his way with her. Nobody even looks up.

He then throws the mother on the table and has his way with her. Again, nobody even looks up from their plate.

Just then, a loud clap of thunder rattles the house. Remembering about the motorcycle, the boyfriend reaches into his pocket and pulls out the tub of Vaseline.

The father stands up and says, “Okay, I’ll do the dishes!”