Three guys from San Francisco are in a hot tub when suddenly a large blob of semen rises to the top.
One of the guys stands up, angry, and asks, “Okay, WHO farted?”
Format: narrative
Narrative comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Okay, who farted?
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Penguin Problems: Ice Cream and Car Repairs!
A penguin was driving her car when it started shaking and making a noise. Fortunately, she was able to make it to a mechanic before it stopped running.
The mechanic told her it would be a couple of hours before he could get to it, so he suggested the penguin hang out at the ice cream shop across the street.
The penguin grabbed her laptop from the car and headed across the street to check email and do some work.
Two hours later, she went back to the shop and spoke with the mechanic. The penguin asked, “What’s the problem? Is it the transmission?”
The mechanic responded, “It looks like you blew a seal.”
To which the penguin responded, “Nah, that’s just a little ice cream,” as she wiped her chin.
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Duct Tape: The Ultimate Duck Catcher!
An old man is sitting on his porch and sees a kid walking by carrying a roll of duct tape.
The old guy yells out, “Hey kid! Where are you going with that duct tape?”
“Gonna catch me some ducks!” says the kid.
“What? You can’t catch ducks with duct tape!” he yells back, but the kid continues on his way.
A couple hours later, the kid is walking back the other way, carrying four ducks wrapped up in duct tape. The old man can’t believe it.
The next day, the old guy is sitting on his porch again and sees the kid walking by. This time, he’s got a roll of chicken wire under his arm.
The old guy yells out, “Hey kid! Where are you going with that chicken wire?”
“Gonna catch me some chickens!” says the kid.
“Seriously? You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!” he yells back, but once again the kid just continues on his way.
Later that day, the kid walks back the other way and, sure enough, he’s got a half-dozen chickens wrapped up in the chicken wire. The old guy is astounded.
The next day, once again, the old guy is sitting out on his porch and sees the kid walking in front of his house.
He yells out, “Hey kid, what’ve you got under your arm there?”
“Pussywillow!” says the kid.
“…Hang on, I’ll go get my hat.”
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The third couldn’t reach
Three nuns were sitting on a bench in the park when a man ran up and flashed them.
Two of the nuns had a stroke. The third couldn’t reach. -
Curious Minds in the Park
A boy and his father are walking in the park.
The boy sees a male dog mounting a female dog. He asks his dad, “Dad, what are they doing?”
Dad thinks for a second and says, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.”
This satisfies the boy’s curiosity, and they finish their walk.
Later that night, the boy gets up for a drink of water. He passes his parents’ room, and they’ve carelessly left the door ajar. They’re face-to-face in the throes of passion.
The little boy asks, “Dad, what are you and Mommy doing?”
The startled dad hesitates for a second, looks up, and says, “Well, son, we’re making you a baby brother.”
And the kid says, “Well then, can you turn Mommy over? I’d rather have a puppy.”
