vivivictoria: hey gang im ordering 14 dollars worth of soda and nothing else from my local dominos
im thorsty
vivivictoria: He better not fucking have
YOUR ORDER IS IN THE OVEN – Majkiiwis put your order in the oven at 2:47 PM.
Format: screenshot
Screenshot comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Antivaxxer Microbiologist
Ahmad @BlkMamba: Just found out my coworker is a antivaxxer.. we’re microbiologists
JS @foamtherunway: I work with a flat earther… at an airline.
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Blue Eyes Job Interview
[Job interview]
“What are ur strengths?”
Me: I fall in love easily.
“umm okay… what are ur weaknesses?”
Me: Those blue eyes of yours.
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Didnt Even Turn Up
ben @rokthedisco
Just had a message from a random guy asking to meet in the woods to compare dick sizes, fucking weirdo didn’t even turn up
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Same Dad Hotwheels
Im horny
yo hold up
is that a 2002 Ferrari F355 Spider hotwheels on your nght?
my dad used to have one hanging in the rearview mirror, one night he got in to ar accident and the airbag impaled it into his face
no shit retard we have the same dad
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My Wife Likes Me
LADE HERSELF @ThebigLade
Men truly don’t realize when a woman has a crush on them, do they??
SilverFox @dantwodaughters · 3h
I don’t even know if my wife likes me.
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Fuck the Lot of You
Me talking to the sink full of dirty dishes every night
I’m going to bed. Fuck the lot of you.
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A Very COVID Christmas
The Alex Nevil @TheAlexNevil
Looking forward to Hallmark’s holiday offering “A Very COVID Christmas,” when a big city lawyer and a country candle maker accidentally meet when they go to the wrong zoom meeting.
