Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • I wouldn’t say I’m a big drinker

    I wouldn’t say I’m a big drinker. I usually just have a glass of whiskey before bed.

    Last night I went to bed 8 times.

  • Michael Jackson put out some very good albums

    Michael Jackson put out some very good albums.

    But I think we can all agree his 7th album was Bad.

  • I’m really conflicted about abortion

    I’m really conflicted about abortion.

    I mean, I’m all for killing babies, but do we really want to give women the right to choose?

  • I was blessed with a 9-inch penis

    I was blessed with a 9-inch penis.

    That priest is in jail now.

  • What’s the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

    What’s the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

    Not being retarded in the first place.

  • Stop Fucking My Ass

    A priest and a voluptuous young woman were alone at the church.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “Ohhh, Father!” whispered the woman into his ear. “Don’t you just wanna come and fuck my pussy?”

    “Good heavens, my child, no!” cried the horrified priest. “Always remember: God gave you your womanhood solely for you to bear children with a man who’s your husband.”

    “Fine, Father,” said the woman. “Then what about if I give you a blowjob instead?”

    “Lord have mercy, my child!” exclaimed the priest. “Don’t you know that your mouth should always be holy and only be used to pray and worship the Lord?”

    “You’re right, Father,” conceded the young woman. “So maybe I can give you a handjob?”

    “I wouldn’t dream of defiling you like that, child,” admonished the priest. “Your hands were given to you by God so you could accomplish His good works. They should never be used for filthy deeds.”

    Then the woman finally lost her patience:

    “ALRIGHT THEN, FATHER!! Then just stop fucking my ass, ’cause it’s hurting me a lot!”

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  • I was up All Night Long trying to listen to my collection of Lionel Richie songs, from A to Z

    I was up All Night Long trying to listen to my collection of Lionel Richie songs, from A to Z… but I am stuck on U.

  • I failed my college photography exam

    I failed my college photography exam.

    I just couldn’t focus.

  • Shingles Delivery

    Kevin walked into a doctor’s office, and the receptionist asked, “What do you have?”

    “Shingles,” Kevin replied.

    She took down his name, address, insurance information, and told him to have a seat.

    Fifteen minutes later, a nurse’s aide came out and asked, “What do you have?”

    “Shingles.”

    She recorded his height, weight, and medical history, then told him to wait in the examining room.

    Half an hour later, a nurse came in and asked, “What do you have?”

    “Shingles.”

    She took his blood pressure, drew some blood, performed an EKG, and told him to undress and wait for the doctor.

    An hour later, the doctor came in, saw Kevin sitting there in the nude, and asked, “What do you have?”

    “Shingles.”

    The doctor looked confused. “Where?”

    Kevin pointed outside and said, “On the truck. Where do you want me to unload ’em?”

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  • Inflation Joke

    Last year, I had a great joke about inflation.
    But it’s hardly worth it now.