Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • A Marine, a Boxer, and an MMA Fighter Walk Into a Texas Bar

    A young Marine, a boxer and an MMA fighter walk into a Texas bar.

    The devil dog walks up to the bartender and says “Bartender. How goes it? I’ll have 3 shots of Jack, 3 shots of Henny, 3 shots of bourb, 3 shots of your best rum, and 3 Harps.” The bartender’s eyebrows raise and his eyes widen in shock, and he goes “Look here fellas, now I know y’all are just wanting to have a good night, but I’m telling you now, I don’t want no trouble or rubberneckin’ in my bar once you crayons polish these dranks off.” The Marine looks bewildered at the bartender. Confused; genuinely confounded, and stares for a second before it clicks “Oh, these guys? No worries Bartender, they don’t drink.”

    That’s just the punchline. The real joke is believing a Marine could afford 12 shots, or count up to three.

  • Dry Salads

    I am told that the salads I make tend to be a bit on the “dry” side.

    It’s definitely something that needs addressing.

  • The Sham Rock

    My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring…

    The stone was cut in the shape of a four-leaf clover.

    I wore it all the time to show how much it meant to me.

    One day, I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller’s.

    Unfortunately, they told me that my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.

    It was a sham rock.

  • Shower Sex

    I hate shower sex.

    It’s slippery, awkward, and one of the worst things about prison.

  • Professional Hide-and-Seek Tournament

    I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.

  • Three Tons of Hair Stolen from Wig Factory

    Three tons of hair was stolen from a wig factory.

    Police are combing the area.

  • One for the Road

    A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.

    He says to the bartender, “Two beers please. One for me, and one for the road.”

  • No Words to Describe How Angry I Am

    I recently ordered a thesaurus online and when it arrived it was blank. I literally have no words to describe how angry I am.

  • The Wurst Is Yet to Come

    I ordered some German food from DoorDash. The sauerkraut has arrived but the wurst is yet to come.

  • Good Buoy

    I took my dog to the lake today and noticed he floats very well.

    He’s a very good buoy.