If life gives you lemons, make a delicious lemonade. If life gives you a tennis bracelet, though, you know life is trying to make up for hitting on your co-workers at the office party.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day.
Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach him to fish instead of hooking him with the first of 14 volumes of your DVD series “How to Catch Fi$h and Make Millions!!” and you just gave away a nice revenue stream, Dinkwad.
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I love checking into a hotel and there waiting in the room for me is a well-stocked
I love checking into a hotel and there waiting in the room for me is a well-stocked supply of tissues and a fresh, unopened bottle of hand lotion. It’s like they *know* me!
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It doesn’t take many times shooting the last seated one in the leg before your family
It doesn’t take many times shooting the last seated one in the leg before your family gets pretty good at clearing the after-dinner dishes.
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Is the question “Is the glass half empty or half full?”
Is the question “Is the glass half empty or half full?” semi-intelligent or semi-idiotic?
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People tell me I should work on my similes; I think I simply need to refine things like
People tell me I should work on my similes; I think I simply need to refine things like someone who refines stuff a lot.
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Ladies, the reality is that if the guy laying next to you asks if you want to “spoon,”
Ladies, the reality is that if the guy laying next to you asks if you want to “spoon,” he really just wants to “fork.”
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That guy Victor, who gets all the spoils?
That guy Victor, who gets all the spoils? I’ll bet his place really stinks.
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It’s important to speak clearly when ordering something over the phone.
It’s important to speak clearly when ordering something over the phone. I asked the bakery to make an erotic cake, and she sent me a cake covered with pictures of the cast from “Seinfeld.”
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In your early 30s, you start to get depressed because you realize that your life may
In your early 30s, you start to get depressed because you realize that your life may very well be half over. By the time you hit 40, you’re relieved because you realize that your life may very well be half over.
