Format: short

Short comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Desert Desires: The Camel Conundrum

    A man is making a long journey in the desert with his camel. He has been walking for days and suddenly has the urge to have sex. With no other options, he tries to have sex with the camel, which immediately runs away. He catches up and, after another day or so, tries again, but fails because the camel runs away.

    Another day or two later, he comes across three gorgeous women next to a broken-down van. They ask him for help fixing the van and say they will do anything in return.

    The man is a bit of a mechanic, so he is able to fix their van. The girls come up to him and ask him what he would like; they’re willing to do anything.

    “Anything?” asks the man.

    “Anything you want,” they reply.

    The man thinks about it for a minute, then politely asks, “Could you hold down my camel?”

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  • Overachieving Rooster’s Wild Barnyard Adventures

    A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes out and screws all 150 of the farmer’s hens.

    The farmer is impressed. At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore—he is worried.

    The next morning, not only is the rooster screwing the hens, but he is screwing the turkeys, ducks, and even the cow.

    Later, the farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead, and vultures circling overhead.

    The farmer runs out, looks down at the young rooster’s limp body, and says, “You deserved it, you horny bastard!”

    The young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, “Shhhh! They are about to land.”

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  • Coma Care: The Power of a Sponge!

    A woman is in the hospital in a coma, hooked up to all the monitors. One day, while the nurse was cleaning the wife, she noticed a blip of brain activity as she washed her nether region. The nurse scrambled to grab the doctor to show him.

    The doctor ran the sponge over again: another blip. He was a little more vigorous, and a stronger series of blips appeared, but nothing brought back consciousness.

    The doctor rushed out, called the husband, and told him to rush over to the hospital. When the husband arrived, the doctor let him know there was some brain activity and said it might be a weird request, but oral may bring his wife back.

    The husband was flabbergasted, but after being reassured no one would interrupt, he went in and shut the blinds.

    The doctors and nurses gathered around the nurses’ station when, suddenly, alarm bells started going off. The doctor and nurse ran in to help and saw the husband sitting beside her.

    Doctor: “What happened?”

    Husband: “I think she choked.”

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  • Penguin Problems: Ice Cream and Car Repairs!

    A penguin was driving her car when it started shaking and making a noise. Fortunately, she was able to make it to a mechanic before it stopped running.

    The mechanic told her it would be a couple of hours before he could get to it, so he suggested the penguin hang out at the ice cream shop across the street.

    The penguin grabbed her laptop from the car and headed across the street to check email and do some work.

    Two hours later, she went back to the shop and spoke with the mechanic. The penguin asked, “What’s the problem? Is it the transmission?”

    The mechanic responded, “It looks like you blew a seal.”

    To which the penguin responded, “Nah, that’s just a little ice cream,” as she wiped her chin.

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  • Apple Surprise: The Bartender’s Magic Trick!

    A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender for a gin and tonic. The bartender reaches under the counter and hands him an apple. The man is confused. He says, “I asked for a gin and tonic.”

    The bartender says, “Try it. Trust me.”

    The man takes a bite and chews it, then he looks surprised.

    “Wow, this tastes just like gin!” he says.

    The bartender says, “Now turn it around.”

    The man turns the apple around and takes another bite. “Wow, this tastes like tonic!”

    A second man walks up to the bar and asks the bartender for a rum and coke. The bartender reaches under the counter and hands him an apple. The second man says, “I asked for a rum and coke.”

    The bartender says, “Try it. Trust me.”

    The man takes a bite and chews it, then he looks surprised. “Wow, this tastes like rum!”

    The bartender says, “Now turn it around.”

    The man turns the apple around and takes another bite. “Wow, this tastes like coke!”

    A third man walks up to the bar and asks the bartender if he has anything special. The first man says, “This guy has magic apples that taste like anything you want!”

    The third man is intrigued. He asks the bartender, “Do you have an apple that tastes like pussy?”

    The bartender chuckles, reaches under the counter, and hands him an apple. The third man eagerly bites into the apple, chews, then spits it out. “This tastes like shit!” he says.

    The bartender says, “Turn it around.”

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  • Duct Tape: The Ultimate Duck Catcher!

    An old man is sitting on his porch and sees a kid walking by carrying a roll of duct tape.

    The old guy yells out, “Hey kid! Where are you going with that duct tape?”

    “Gonna catch me some ducks!” says the kid.

    “What? You can’t catch ducks with duct tape!” he yells back, but the kid continues on his way.

    A couple hours later, the kid is walking back the other way, carrying four ducks wrapped up in duct tape. The old man can’t believe it.

    The next day, the old guy is sitting on his porch again and sees the kid walking by. This time, he’s got a roll of chicken wire under his arm.

    The old guy yells out, “Hey kid! Where are you going with that chicken wire?”

    “Gonna catch me some chickens!” says the kid.

    “Seriously? You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!” he yells back, but once again the kid just continues on his way.

    Later that day, the kid walks back the other way and, sure enough, he’s got a half-dozen chickens wrapped up in the chicken wire. The old guy is astounded.

    The next day, once again, the old guy is sitting out on his porch and sees the kid walking in front of his house.

    He yells out, “Hey kid, what’ve you got under your arm there?”

    “Pussywillow!” says the kid.

    “…Hang on, I’ll go get my hat.”

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  • Show it your cross

    Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village when suddenly a vampire jumps out from behind a bush.

    The first nun screams to her friend, “Quick, show it your cross!”

    “Get the fuck out of the way!” she yells.

  • Gorilla Pranks Lion: Jungle’s Wildest Tale!

    A gorilla spots a lion bent over a stream taking a drink. He sneaks up behind him, does his thing, and takes off running. Furious, the lion chases him through the jungle.

    The gorilla gets ahead and runs into a safari camp, quickly throws on some khakis, grabs a newspaper, and sits by the fire pretending to read.

    Moments later, the lion bursts into camp, roaring, “Did anyone see a gorilla run through here?”

    Without looking up, the gorilla says, “You mean the one that fucked the lion up the ass?”

    The lion gasps, “Oh my god! It’s in the paper already?!”

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  • Curious Minds in the Park

    A boy and his father are walking in the park.

    The boy sees a male dog mounting a female dog. He asks his dad, “Dad, what are they doing?”

    Dad thinks for a second and says, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.”

    This satisfies the boy’s curiosity, and they finish their walk.

    Later that night, the boy gets up for a drink of water. He passes his parents’ room, and they’ve carelessly left the door ajar. They’re face-to-face in the throes of passion.

    The little boy asks, “Dad, what are you and Mommy doing?”

    The startled dad hesitates for a second, looks up, and says, “Well, son, we’re making you a baby brother.”

    And the kid says, “Well then, can you turn Mommy over? I’d rather have a puppy.”

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  • Bench of Bizarre Disorders

    A sadist, a masochist, a necrophile, a murderer, a zoophile, and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat,” says the zoophile.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat and then torture it,” says the sadist.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, and then kill it,” says the murderer.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, and then have sex with it again,” says the necrophile.

    “Let’s have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again, and then burn it,” says the pyromaniac.

    There was a silence. Then the masochist said, “Meow.”

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