Waiter: ‘I just wanted to let you know that kids eat for free.’
Me: ‘Good. I’ll have a water and my daughter will have the steak and a kids Bud Light.’
Joke Type: adult humor
Adult humor jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Top 15 Porn Goddess Pet Peeves
The Top 15 Porn Goddess Pet Peeves
15. Recent flood of scripts with scenes involving cigars.
14. Your SAG card isn’t as impressive as it could be because it bears the name “BUSTY CHIXX.”
13. Video sales dropped 20% after Starr Report posted on the Web.
12. Wow! I can’t believe that a gorgeous adult video queen is *actually* reading one of my submissions!! I’m sorry — what was the question?
11. Inconsiderate jerk co-stars who grab the refried bean lunch special at the studio commissary.
10. Auto mechanic always over-stressing the words pump, hose, fill and lube when he works on your car.
9. Can’t enjoy a simple hot dog without thinking about work.
8. Friggin’ plumber always seems to break more than he fixes, conveniently guaranteeing himself weekly visits to the house.
7. Chauffeurs who keep asking if you want your top down.
6. Mail keeps getting misdelivered ever since you named yourself after a continent.
5. Directors who think that putting a girl on her knees on a rock-hard pool table under burning hot set lights for 5 hours straight with the ugliest partner known to man
4. Those embarrassing “Bring Your Daughter To Work Day” moments.
3. Trying to remove that piece of glued-on, strategically placed black paper after the magazine photo shoot.
2. All that pesky dialogue — was my line “yes, yes, oh baby!”, or “oh baby, yes, yes!”?
1. IRS auditors who keep demanding tangible evidence for “proof of employment.”
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List http://www.topfive.com ] -
Top 14 Adult Film Star Nicknames
The Top 14 Adult Film Star Nicknames
14. Jack Titanic
13. Willy Wanka
12. Delores Galores
11. Randy “The Groin from Des Moines” Mann
10. Analstasia
9. Nattily Wood
8. Chuck “Big Gun” Heston
7. Rosie Buttrash
6. me me cummings
5. Gonore’ de Balsac
4. Jock Full O’Nuts
3. Monty Fuller
2. Jennifer Love T’Dewitt
1. Stiffen King -
Room 319
A man went to a whorehouse to get some practice performing oral sex on his old lady. The woman at the front desk gave him a key and told him to go to room 319. He went in and there he saw his lady of the evening. He told her why he was there and she gave him a few pointers and told him to get down to it.
He began performing oral sex and was, by her reaction, pretty good at it. But something strange happened. About five minutes into the deed he felt something in his mouth. He stealthily spit it into his hand and saw to his amazement that it was a piece of carrot.
“Oh man, that’s fuckin nasty!” he thought, but he said nothing and continued. Five minutes later he came up with a pea.
“Christ! I can’t take this much more. There’s something wrong with this bitch.” But again he said nothing and gave it one more shot. This time it was a piece of chicken. He could stand it no longer.
“Fuck! I can’t do this anymore! I’m gonna throw up!”
“That’s funny,” the hooker said, “That’s what the last guy did.”
