Joke Type: double entendre

Double entendre jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

When my boyfriend sent me to get a Brazilian, I first thought I

When my boyfriend sent me to get a Brazilian, I first thought I was going to fuck a hot chick from Rio. Either way, now I can’t fucking walk.
I don’t know why men are always so interested in tits. On the

I don’t know why men are always so interested in tits. On the other hand, I don’t know why *I’m* so interested in them either. Ah, the mysteries of life.
I was having lunch with my girlfriend the other day when I

I was having lunch with my girlfriend the other day when I unexpectedly got a really fierce hard-on. Sure, it was kind of embarrassing, but at least I had somewhere to put the pineapple rings when I went for seconds at the buffet.
Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get

Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get more bang for buck.
When the Boy Toy told me he wanted to do it in a moving car, I

When the Boy Toy told me he wanted to do it in a moving car, I was happy to oblige. I just wish he has told me it was a convertible, so I could have worn a top that stays on in high winds. Oh, well, the truckers didn’t mind.
Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you

Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you.
I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response

I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response when my boyfriend asked me what I stuck in his ass.
The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I

The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I get in, there’s a mystical voice that says, “Going down.”
My girlfriend has the most amazing tits ever. In fact, they

My girlfriend has the most amazing tits ever. In fact, they should be in the Titsonian.
(Bonnie) I’m a conservationist at heart and take pride in my

(Bonnie) I’m a conservationist at heart and take pride in my innovative recycling ideas. Did you know an old dildo works great as an egg-beater? Yup, you’ll get light, fluffy eggs every time.