Whenever I help my boyfriend get off by letting him watch me masturbate, after he thanks me I like to say, “Happy to lend a helping finger!”
Joke Type: double entendre
Double entendre jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer
Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer table: mundane. A three-hole punch on an S&M; buffet table: nasty.
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If you’re stranded at a cannibal commune and forced to eat a
If you’re stranded at a cannibal commune and forced to eat a penis butter and jelly sandwich, at least tell them you’d prefer they used creamy, not chunky.
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I thought I had a great name for my new line of vaginal pasties,
I thought I had a great name for my new line of vaginal pasties, but apparently “lipstick” is already taken.
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When doing a crossword puzzle and asking the person next to you
When doing a crossword puzzle and asking the person next to you to spell the word “pungent,” make sure you’re not looking up from their vagina.
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My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of
My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of sex from the man with the world’s smallest penis. She didn’t know she had it in her.
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The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra
The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra coffee and lotion delivered to my room, but, hey, I may be on vacation, but my penis isn’t!
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Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what
Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what would Paris Hilton do?” But damn, I can never find that many cocks around.
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I don’t see the appeal to mind-blowing sex. During sex, it’s not
I don’t see the appeal to mind-blowing sex. During sex, it’s not my mind that I want blown.
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I’m a big fan of suspense movies. I like not knowing whether the
I’m a big fan of suspense movies. I like not knowing whether the hero’s going to squirt on her bush or unload all over those big ol’ titties.
