Misunderstanding jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
A guy takes his wife and two small kids on a driving vacation, and checks into a cheap motel. He asks the clerk, “For the sake of our kids’ TV viewing, can we have the porn disabled?”
The clerk responds, “Who the hell would make their kids watch disabled porn, you sick bastard?”
At first I was put off when she invited me back to her place and it reeked of urine. Then when she told me that she doesn’t have pets, I was totally turned on.
It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop shoot” are pretty much the same thing, but it turns out that they aren’t. Also, sometimes when something happens in Vegas, word spreads to Atlantic City.
My boyfriend told me, “I want to take a picture of my cock between the twins.” WTF? I’m not so sure I want my niece and nephew that close to a rooster!
I got in trouble at the PTA meeting for suggesting “Wild, Hot and Horny” as the them for the pre-school auction. Those fucking pervs — I was talking about desert deer.
Of all the knee joints in all the world, why did he have to cum all over mine?
I can’t believe that dude was offended when I asked him if he enjoyed doing doggy styles. I guess pet groomers are just thin-skinned.
I guess until I actually said it, it never seemed anything *but* complimentary to tell her that she tasted “vulvalicious.”
Yelling through the bathroom stall partition, I asked my regular glory hole chick if she would be interested in taking things to the next level, but she just gave me lip service.
In retrospect, I shouldn’t have screamed and fled the room. I’m pretty sure now that she wasn’t a cannibal after all and was probably just trying to be sexy when she said, “I want you inside me.”
