Joke Type: observational

Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Reflection Of A Gross Lonely Pervert

    Reflection Of A Gross Lonely Pervert

  • Costco Kid On Leash Rescue

    Costco Kid On Leash Rescue

  • Maybe Wouldnt Be So Heavy Used Arms

    Maybe Wouldnt Be So Heavy Used Arms

  • I Could See Myself Working There

    They’re building a mirror factory in my town.

    I could see myself working there.

  • On Our Honeymoon

    I was looking at my wife, no teeth in, tits on her belly, hair a mess and smoking a roll up.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Then she cocked her leg and let out a massive fart.

    “You are a mess and I’m disgusted with you,” I said.

    “I’m still the woman you love and married,” she said. “Sometimes we all let ourselves go a bit.”

    “We’re on our fuckin honeymoon,” I replied…

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  • She Likes It That Way

    Mrs. Schwartz is in synagogue. The worshippers rise as the ark is opened. Mr. Goldstein, in the pew behind Mrs. Schwartz, notices that her dress is, er, caught between her buttocks. Thinking to correct the situation, he reaches forward and pulls the offending fabric free.

    Mrs. Schwartz turns around and furiously scolds him: how dare you, etc, etc. Her friends join in and Mr. Goldstein’s wife is mortified and apologetic.

    The following week, at the same time, Mr. Goldstein’s hand once again makes contact with Mrs. Schwartz’s bottom. Again, chaos ensues. Afterwards, Mrs. Goldstein wrathfully asks her husband what in the WORLD was he thinking?

    He replies: “I’m mystified myself. Last week, her dress was caught between her buttocks, and I thought I was doing her a favor by fixing it. This week, I saw her dress was hanging free. I simply wanted to put her dress back between her buttocks. I happen to know she likes it that way!”

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  • Im Winning

    In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.

    She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks.

    Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.

    The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: “Can’t you see I’m winning??”

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  • Most Bobcats Not Named Bob

    Most Bobcats Not Named Bob

  • Crayons 5 Plus Years 2 Minutes

    Crayons 5 Plus Years 2 Minutes