Sometimes I look outside my window and think, “Those people look like ants from here.” But then I realize I live on the first floor, and I really need to call the exterminator.
Joke Type: observational
Observational jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Missile Sites Happy to See Him
As the F-14 screamed through the desert air, the pilot eyed the rising launcher ramps and wondered yet again if the missile sites were a genuine threat or merely happy to see him.
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Neckwear for an Octopus
When choosing neckwear for an octopus, a bow tie is the way to go. A long tie is just likely to get tangled in the tentacles. Plus, most octopi believe that a bow tie makes them look like eccentric intellectuals rather than slimy cephalopods.
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He’s Not Even A Member Of This Club.
Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball, suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.
He passes the first woman, who looks down at his privates. ‘He’s not my husband,’ she says.
He passes by the second woman, who also looks down as he’s passing. ‘He’s not my husband either.’
She says, also not recognizing the unit. He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her. ‘Wait a minute,’ she says. ‘He’s not even a member of this club.’
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Good Luck Mr Gorsky
Astronaut Neil Armstrong’s enigmatic remark ‘Good luck, Mr. Gorsky’ during the Apollo mission has puzzled many for years.
When asked about it decades later, Armstrong finally revealed the story behind his mysterious words.
As a kid, Armstrong was playing baseball in his backyard when a fly ball landed near his neighbor’s window.
The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he overheard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at her husband, ‘Oral sex? You’ll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!’
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This Little Piggy
You’d think that at some point the little piggy that went to market might swing by the pharmacy and pick up something for the one with the uncontrollable bladder.
