Joke Type: satirical

Satirical jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • The Top 14 October Surprises

    14. A final, no-holds-barred presidential debate is hastily scheduled by the producers of “American Gladiators.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    13. Supreme Court opens their new session by replacing “yea” or “nay” with “left” or “right.”

    12. Donald Trump provides incontrovertible proof that he’s not a Russian spy by revealing that he’s a Chinese spy.

    11. Bill already advertising for interns on Craigslist.

    10. The pumpkin spice craze is a secret chemical warfare plot concocted by Donald Trump to turn the entire world orange.

    9. Ronald Reagan rises from the dead, just to show that he can.

    8. Hillary’s server full of e-mails advocating “grabbing Bernie by the droopy balls.”

    7. Oddly enough, Disney’s Hall of Presidents attraction has had a Hillary figure ready to go since 1996.

    6. Hearing a 9-year-old tell a 7-year-old his costume is culturally insensitive.

    5. The press rebrands the Affordable Care Act as the Holy-Cow-Talk-About-Sticker-Shock Care Act.

    4. Scientists discover that Trump’s hair is a living creature that controls the empty puppet underneath.

    3. Anthony Weiner: the dick that keeps on giving.

    2. E-mail discovered on Anthony Weiner’s computer reveals that his birth name was Anthony Vajayjay.

    1. Not a soul has come from the future to put a stop to this madness.

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  • J Stands for Jenius

    J Stands for Jenius

    THE J IN DONALD J. TRUMP STANDS FOR JENIUS.

  • Americans Right About Miles

    Americans Right About Miles

    Water ← 1 mile

    Water 1 kilometer →

    Americans 2 Sep at 12:05

    But the Americans are right. A mile is less then a kilometre. (1 mile = 1,6 Kilometre)

    boredpanda.com

  • Jesus Is Bigger Than COVID-19

    Jesus Is Bigger Than COVID-19

    Radio Star

    Video

    JESUS Is Bigger Than tOVID-19

    JESUS Is Bigger Than OVID-19

  • The Top 11 Celebrity Secret Santa Gifts

    11. J.J. Abrams — money silos to store all the coin Disney will throw at him to direct a future “Star Wars” movie

    10. Tom Brady — a pressure cooker

    9. Tom Brady — Federal Reserve action to prevent deflation

    8. Bernie Sanders — combo campaign/get off my lawn signs

    7. North West — witnessing a horrible crime so Witness Protection can change her name and reassign her to a nice, suburban, middle-class family from the Kansas City area

    6. Jim Gilmore — a mirror, so someone would see him

    5. Renée Zellweger — her old face back

    4. Ben Carson — a good campaign surgeon

    3. Gwyneth Paltrow — a steam cleaner

    2. Reince Priebus — balls

    1. Miss Piggy — a dry rub

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  • Spotify Hackers Threaten Nickelback List

    Spotify Hackers Threaten Nickelback List

    BFF @YrfBFF

    Damn you, hackers! Is nothing sacred!?

    Spotify Hackers Threaten to Reveal Full List of Users Who Listen to Nickelback

    By Jesse McLaren August 21, 2015

    New York, NY- The stock market remains in chaos as a hacker group makes yet another threat to reveal sensitive information from music streaming service Spotify’s databases. This comes one week after the outing of a Florida Congressman as a subscriber to various Creed playlists

    PHOTO: Nickelback posing in truckstop bathroom.

  • USA Shooting Gold Medal

    USA Shooting Gold Medal

    Dan @THFC_Dan_: How the f🤭k didnt USA win the gold medal for shooting

    paulmc @paulmac_78: Because it wasn’t in a high school???

    TOP COMMENTS: That joke is so dark a cop almost shot it.

  • Illegal to Own a Christian

    Illegal to Own a Christian

    PATHEOS.COM

    Study finds atheists are more likely to own cats than Christians

    Robert Noble: This article is stupid. Besides not knowing how to feed and care for them, it’s illegal to own a Christian, let alone buy and sell them.

  • White People Just Better at It

    White People Just Better at It

    RACISM EXISTS AMONG ALL RACES IN THE WORLD…

    WHITE PEOPLE ARE JUST BETTER AT IT, LIKE MOST THINGS.

  • Running Government Like Death Row Records

    Running Government Like Death Row Records

    Trump got 34 felonies, 3 baby mommas, been shot, and kidnapped a sitting President. He running our government like Death Row Records from the 90’s.