Good: Saying “hello” and getting a smile in return from the lovely maid who arrives as you leave your extended-stay hotel room for a quick bite to eat. Bad: Realizing 10 minutes later that you left your wank rag and hotel lotion on the night stand. Again.
Joke Type: self-deprecating
Self-deprecating jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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People think I’m some sort of sexual superhero. But I put on my
People think I’m some sort of sexual superhero. But I put on my latex barbed-wired crotchless panties one leg at a time, just like everyone else.
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My wife claims I’m callous and unsupportive. Apparently she
My wife claims I’m callous and unsupportive. Apparently she missed the chapter in “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” where the Martian phrase “I’m ready to listen” translates roughly, to, “What the fuck crawled up your butt?”
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The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra
The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra coffee and lotion delivered to my room, but, hey, I may be on vacation, but my penis isn’t!
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I know the Bible says “Love thy neighbor as thy self,” but I
I know the Bible says “Love thy neighbor as thy self,” but I don’t care what Jesus says — I’m not about to go around giving
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I saved some $5,000 in potential counseling bills trying to cure
I saved some $5,000 in potential counseling bills trying to cure my scat fetish, and all it took was having to change my twin nieces’ diapers over the holiday weekend.
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I’m NOT a nerd. It was merely a mental slip when my girlfriend
I’m NOT a nerd. It was merely a mental slip when my girlfriend said the word “dildo” and I thought she was talking about that dude in “The Hobbit.”
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My buddy thought I was nuts when we spotted an extremely large
My buddy thought I was nuts when we spotted an extremely large woman and I said, “Man! I’d like to get all up in dat!” What he doesn’t understand is that my comment was actually about my return-to-the-womb issues.
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Silly me. I assumed my girlfriend’s nickname of “Thunder Thighs”
Silly me. I assumed my girlfriend’s nickname of “Thunder Thighs” had something to do with their size — until I heard the rumbling noises that often emanate from near the tops of them.
