to be on top tonight because that last dump made me a full two pounds lighter.
Joke Type: self-deprecating
Self-deprecating jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
-
The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their
The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their warmth and their inability to poke me in the ass with a boner.
-
I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead
I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead of my hand, I got bit on my cock. And instead of a radioactive spider, it was a cheap hooker. And my “power” is Hepatitis C. Other than that though, it’s exactly the same.
-
When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought
When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought it was because I was sweet and smelled nice. Turns out it was because of all the little pricks I’ve had in my bush.
-
I used to feel confident because so many gay dudes were hot for
I used to feel confident because so many gay dudes were hot for me. Then I realized that gay dudes, like me, will stick their dicks in anything.
-
The best thing about solitary confinement: Nobody walks in while
The best thing about solitary confinement: Nobody walks in while I’m masturbating.
-
If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a
If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a pocketed banana, why the hell should I be happy?
-
I have a penis and know how to cook. Laydeez! I’m one-stop
I have a penis and know how to cook. Laydeez! I’m one-stop shopping for feeding and fucking!
-
I don’t think I’d be so tired masturbating to porn here at work
I don’t think I’d be so tired masturbating to porn here at work if I wasn’t up all night masturbating to porn at home.
-
are not an “up and comer” in life
are not an “up and comer” in life.
