teacher: your essay must start with an attention grabber
me: so i’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties
Joke Type: self-deprecating
Self-deprecating jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Tonight’s Main Story: My Outfit Looks Like Balls and a Cock Peeing – More at 11
“Tonight’s main story: my outfit looks like balls and a cock, peeing. More at 11”
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Can You Give the Kids a Talk on Drugs – I Talk a Lot of Shit When I’m High
Wife: Can you give the kids a talk on drugs?
Me: Ok but I talk a lot of shit when I’m high
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Everyone Thinks They’re Pam or Jim But We’re All Stanley
At work everyone thinks they’re Pam or Jim but in reality we’re all Stanley
I don’t care. I’m learning nothing. I’m on break. I’m going to die. Do not care. Good news. We get to go home? I’m done. Goodbye.
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Got My Ancestry.com Results – Trader Joe’s Cracker Assortment
res judicatie @cat_i_e
got my ancestry dot com results
TRADER JOE’S
Cracker Assortment
FOUR INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED VARIETIES
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Time for a Reality Check – Would Not Recommend
paul bassett davies @thewritertype
Ok, it’s time for a reality check.
*checks reality*
Holy shit. Would not recommend.
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My First High School Football Game Was a Lot Like the First Time I Had Sex
MY FIRST HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAME WAS A LOT LIKE THE FIRST TIME I HAD SEX
I WAS BLOODY AND SORE BUT AT LEAST MY DAD CAME
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Samantha 25 – I Like It Rough
Done
Samantha, 25
5 miles away Active 1 day ago
About Samantha
I like it rough.
