Joke Type: self-deprecating

Self-deprecating jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Sexual Innuendos Hard

    Sexual Innuendos Hard

    I TRY TO AVOID MAKING SEXUAL INNUENDOS

    BUT IT’S HARD

  • 5ft Apart Never Caught

    5ft Apart Never Caught

    Telling my future grandchildren how I stood only 5ft apart instead of 6ft in 2020

    AND I NEVER GOT CAUGHT NEITHER

  • Spicy Butt Pancakes

    Spicy Butt Pancakes

    DEEP THOUGHT: Why is spicy the only flavor my butt can detect?

    Why can’t I eat pancakes and then 14 hours later be like OOH PANCAKES AGAIN

  • Wheel Of Fortune Buy An I

    Wheel Of Fortune Buy An I

    WHEEL OF FORTUNE

    IS IT BAD THAT I LAUGH WHEN THIS GUY SAYS “I’D LIKE TO BUY AN I”

  • Sunbathe On The Roof

    Sunbathe On The Roof

    I’m not allowed to sunbathe on the roof anymore

  • So Big Fuck U

    So Big Fuck U

    [about to have sex]

    her: ur so big

    me: [putting my shirt back on] fuck u

  • Selfish Husband Turns Pleasure Condom Inside Out

    My wife suggested that we use a new type of condom. It had ridges and bumps and feathers on the side and a shape like a chicken head on the top.

    I asked what it was and she explained that it was “especially designed to provide the maximum pleasure for woman”.

    I was having none of this and put it on inside out. Why should she get all the fun?

  • Slow Morning Romance

    Slow Morning Romance

    I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me.

  • Rhyme for Statute of Limitations

    The imagery and emotion in my poems has been inspired by my life as a solitary traveler — the long, lonely road, the ever-distant horizon, my yearning to return home. I just wish I could come up with a rhyme for “statute of limitations.”

  • Behind Mt Rushmore

    Behind Mt Rushmore

    ….near as I can tell, we’re somewhere behind Mt. Rushmore