I TRY TO AVOID MAKING SEXUAL INNUENDOS
BUT IT’S HARD
Self-deprecating jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

Telling my future grandchildren how I stood only 5ft apart instead of 6ft in 2020
AND I NEVER GOT CAUGHT NEITHER
My wife suggested that we use a new type of condom. It had ridges and bumps and feathers on the side and a shape like a chicken head on the top.
I asked what it was and she explained that it was “especially designed to provide the maximum pleasure for woman”.
I was having none of this and put it on inside out. Why should she get all the fun?

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me.
The imagery and emotion in my poems has been inspired by my life as a solitary traveler — the long, lonely road, the ever-distant horizon, my yearning to return home. I just wish I could come up with a rhyme for “statute of limitations.”