Self Deprecating Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Carrying The Family

my back after carrying all the looks, talent, and humour in the family

When you get up after spending forty-five minutes on the toilet looking at memes

When someone tells you how drunk you were last night

That wasn’t me. That was Patricia.

I need to get out of this bed or I’m going to be late for the couch

I TRY TO AVOID MAKING SEXUAL INNUENDOS

BUT IT’S HARD

Telling my future grandchildren how I stood only 5ft apart instead of 6ft in 2020

AND I NEVER GOT CAUGHT NEITHER

DEEP THOUGHT: Why is spicy the only flavor my butt can detect?

Why can’t I eat pancakes and then 14 hours later be like OOH PANCAKES AGAIN

WHEEL OF FORTUNE

IS IT BAD THAT I LAUGH WHEN THIS GUY SAYS “I’D LIKE TO BUY AN I”

I’m not allowed to sunbathe on the roof anymore

[about to have sex]

her: ur so big

me: [putting my shirt back on] fuck u