Joke Type: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Biden’s Barn Blues: A Night Out

    Biden, Obama, and Trump get lost in the woods one night.

    They come across an old farm and knock on the door to ask if they can get shelter there overnight.

    The farmer answers the door and says yes, but he only has room in his house for two guests, so one of the guys will have to sleep in the barn.

    Biden offers to sleep in the barn, and everyone turns in for the night. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on the door. It was Biden standing there. Biden says, “I didn’t realize horses were in there. I’m allergic.”

    So the farmer lets Biden in and sends Obama to the barn instead. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on his door. It was Obama standing there. He said, “I can’t sleep out there. The smell from the pigs is making me nauseous.”

    So the farmer lets Obama in and sends Trump out to the barn instead. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on the door.

    It was the horse and the pigs standing there.

  • It was a good trade

    I got a refrigerator for my wife today.
    It was a good trade.

  • She spit it out

    I gave my wife an orgasm yesterday…
    …but she spit it out.

  • Pump number 5

    I got robbed today and called the police.
    The cop asked if I had a description of the assailant.
    I said, “Yeah, it’s pump number 5.”

  • Farting in the Fast Lane!

    A woman walks into a car dealership to browse around, not really planning to buy anything. In the showroom, she sees a beautiful convertible with a leather interior. She reaches down to touch the seat and accidentally lets a fart go.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    To her terror, she looks up and sees a salesman heading her way. Hoping he didn’t hear her, she plays it cool and says, “Excuse me, how much is this car? I’m thinking of purchasing it for my husband.”

    The salesman says, “Lady, if you farted from touching the leather, you’re gonna shit when you hear the price.”

  • Couldn’t see himself wearing them

    Why did the short-sighted vampire refuse to get glasses?
    He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.

  • Honey, I’m Home: The Ultimate Mood Killer!

    What’s the three scariest words to hear while having sex?
    “Honey, I’m home!”

  • Leprechauns: Always a Little Short on Cash!

    Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
    Because they’re always a little short.

  • Hold the Ladder: Last Words of Wisdom

    I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words to me before he died:
    “Are you still holding the ladder?”

  • Left Side Cut Off? He’s All Right!

    Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
    He’s all right now.