Joke Type: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • She gave me permission

    My wife said I could be an idiot sometimes.

    I think it was pretty cool of her to give me permission.

  • They’d crack each other up

    “Dad, why don’t eggs tell jokes?”

    Because they’d crack each other up.

  • And then I saw her face

    When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
    And then I saw her face…

  • Help me out here

    It’s really cool when you and your girlfriend finish each other’s sentences. It sucks, though, when you break up and discover you’re no longer capable of speaking in complete… uh… help me out here…

  • The impotent couldn’t come

    We recently opened a shelter for the poor, needy, and the impotent.

    The poor and needy showed up, but the impotent couldn’t come.

  • A brick under the hood

    Every time I lock my keys in the car, I’m thankful I had the uncommon foresight to keep a brick stashed under the hood.

  • Now I want to break three

    I was going through my old stuff when I broke two Queen records.
    Now I want to break three.

  • Aren’t going to work out

    I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up…
    Guess the two of us aren’t going to work out.

  • Under a buck

    What’s the difference between a beer nut and a deer nut?
    A bowl of beer nuts is about $1.80, but you can always find a deer nut under a buck.