Joke Type: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Why Don’t Blind People Like to Skydive?

    Why don’t blind people like to skydive?

    Because it scares the dog.

  • Johnny Uses ‘Urinate’ in a Sentence

    Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher was going through a list of words to have each student use in a sentence.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    As she got closer to Johnny, she began to regret her decision. His word was “urinate,” and she really didn’t want to give it to him.

    The teacher asked, “Who wants the next one?”

    Little Johnny’s hand was waving in the air while no one else responded.

    Defeated, the teacher said, “Okay, Johnny, your word is ‘urinate.’”

    Little Johnny thought for a moment, then said, “My dad says you’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a ten.”

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  • I didn’t think it hurt that much

    I said to my wife, “They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience…”
    “Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn’t think it hurt that much.”

  • Those are just contractions

    A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
    “Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”

  • Toast the bride and groom

    Two slices of bread got married.
    The wedding was amazing, until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.

  • How do you know it was on its way to work?

    I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She asked me, “How do you know it was on its way to work?”

  • Authorities just found Himalayan there

    Did you hear about the guy who collapsed trying to climb Mount Everest?
    Authorities just found Himalayan there.

  • She slowly came around

    Last night at the airport, there was a woman totally passed out on the baggage carousel.

    She slowly came around.

  • All of the seats were already taken

    Unfortunately, I showed up late to the kleptomaniacs’ conference.
    Needless to say, all of the seats were already taken.

  • All the digging

    What’s the worst thing about having sex in a cemetery?

    All the digging.