Joke Type: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Back at work tomorrow

    A morgue worker died today.
    But he’ll be back at work tomorrow.

  • Here comes the second one

    How do terrorists feed their children?
    “Here comes the airplane.”
    “Here comes the second one.”

  • The taste

    What’s the difference between a rectal thermometer and a regular thermometer?
    The taste.

  • Just one nail

    What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
    You can hang the picture with just one nail.

  • One less drunk

    What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
    One less drunk!

  • A cavity search

    How do you know if your dentist was a corrections officer before?
    If he wants to do a cavity search.

  • Gorilla’s Night Out: A Barroom Surprise!

    A guy walks into a bar…

    He orders a drink and then notices there’s a huge silverback gorilla chained up at the end of the bar, just sitting there and staring at the bartender. Confused, the guy surveys his surroundings, but everyone at the bar is just chatting away and acting normal.

    He nervously downs his drink and orders another. After finishing his second drink, he summons the courage to ask about the gorilla.

    The bartender says, “Watch this.”

    Then the bartender grabs a 2×4 from under the bar and whacks the gorilla over the head with all his might. The gorilla drops to its knees, unzips the bartender’s fly, and starts sucking his dick.

    The bartender turns to the guy and says, “This is awesome. You gotta try it.”

    The guy says, “Sure, but you don’t have to hit me so hard.”

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  • I think she’s bluffing

    My wife says she’s leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with poker.
    I think she’s bluffing.

  • She gave me a big hug

    I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
    She turned around and gave me a big hug.

  • Blowing things out of proportion

    My wife keeps blowing everything out of proportion.
    She is single-handedly ruining my balloon animal business.