Joke Type: sexual innuendo

Sexual innuendo jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Regarding being accused of masturbating in the shower: I can

    Regarding being accused of masturbating in the shower: I can tell you that the fact my wife’s conditioner looks like semen has bailed me out on more than one occasion.

  • (R.M. Weiner) “Gimme a pack of boners.” -me, talking to my

    (R.M. Weiner) “Gimme a pack of boners.” -me, talking to my doctor about Cialis

  • I can’t believe how spicy this peppered Italian salami is! I

    I can’t believe how spicy this peppered Italian salami is! I could only get it halfway up my ass before I gave up.

  • “Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in

    “Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in the yard?” “Read the fine print on the Cialis box, Karen.”

  • My wife did a bong hit right before performing analingus on me.

    My wife did a bong hit right before performing analingus on me. She says she enjoyed the experience, but I think she was just blowing smoke up my ass.

  • Your Mom Won’t Gag

    Your Mom Won’t Gag

    Doctor: This COVID test may make you gag…

    Your mom: It won’t

  • Lick the Wrinkles Out

    Lick the Wrinkles Out

    WHEN WORD GETS OUT YOU CAN LICK THE WRINKLES OUT A BUTTHOLE.

  • Both Sexes Pringles Can

    Both Sexes Pringles Can

    Both sexes can fuck a Pringles can, but neither can do it well.

  • Not What It Looks Like

    So a girl walks in and catches her boyfriend masturbating to an optical illusion. “What the hell are you doing?” she screams.

    And he says, “Honey, it’s not what it looks like.”

  • Tom Jones and the Siamese Twins

    A pair of drop-dead gorgeous female Siamese twins who were joined at the hip saw the ad for the concert in the local paper. One of them said, “Hey, Tom Jones is in town! How would you like to go and see him?” They agreed to go, hoping they might get to meet him.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Tom Jones did in fact notice them from the stage and asked for them to be sent to his room. After a couple of drinks, he asked them if they would be into any hanky-panky, and one of them definitely was, but the other one not so much. Tom asked the other one what she likes doing, and she said she actually likes to play the trombone, so he picked one up from the horn section so she could keep herself amused while he had his way with the other one.

    A couple of years later, there was another ad in the paper that the twins saw, and one of them said, “Hey, would you like to go see Tom Jones again?”

    The other twin replied, “Do you think he would remember us?”

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