When you just got done clapping some single mom cheeks and need to hydrate for the next round
Joke Type: sexual innuendo
Sexual innuendo jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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The 69th Wedding Anniversary
The 69th wedding anniversary should be the dildo anniversary. Not only is the number appropriate, but you’re definitely not fucking anyone by then.
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Going to the Dentist
Just when I thought I’d get a break from my day job as a prostitute by going to the dentist, I realized I was actually paying *him* to shove his throbbing tool in my mouth.
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Souble Standards
When I’m sitting in a restaurant with a date and she asks, “Do you mind if I smoke?” I always feel like saying, “No, but do you mind if I sit here beside you and discreetly masturbate under the tablecloth?”
Regrettably, I never do, since by the time she gets around to asking about the cigarette, I’m usually half finished and have no intention of stopping anyway.
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My nose starts pointing skyward
While I love my renewed confidence now that I had the doctor transfer pubic hair to my bald scalp, the only side effect seems to be that whenever I talk to a pretty girl, my nose starts pointing skyward.
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20 minutes looking for a golf ball
“What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?”
“I’ll spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.” -
It must be the cobblestone
Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village. One says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other replies, “Me neither. It must be the cobblestone.” -
A pain in the ass
My wife and I tried anal.
She loved it, but for me, it was a pain in the ass. -
Its name is deceiving
Do not buy a Dyson Ball Vacuum.
Its name is deceiving. Don’t ask how I know.
