Sexual Innuendo Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

She Used Vaseline to Give Me a Handjob

SHE USED VASELINE TO GIVE ME A HANDJOB

I CAME 3 TIMES IN THE SHOWER TRYING TO WASH THE SHIT OFF

A finger in her ass will eliminate the gag reflex

This is science … you can’t debate it … just try it …

I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.

She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the backdoor!”

Thinking back, I really should have run, but you don’t get offers like that every day.

Did you know that when pigeons have sex they die?

Really?

Well the one I fucked did

You know the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky? Use a feather.

Perverted? Use the whole chicken.

Reporter: So Fred, you’re 97! What’s your secret?

Fred: I sucked a cock for a watch once.

Reporter: I meant secret of your longevity.

Fred: Oh! Fruits and vegetables.

I thought pineapple was supposed to make your cum taste better?? This tasted awful

Who you lasting longer with?

1 minute with Mike Tyson

OR

1 minute with Mia Khalifa?

I don’t think I’d even be able to get an erection with Tyson….but I’ll try.

3 reactions to anal

OH MY! YOU HAVEN’T TOUCHED AND CARESSED ME LIKE THAT IN YEARS! WHY DID YOU STOP?

I FOUND THE TV REMOTE…