Joke Type: shock value
Shock value jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Sex Calories 5 Miles
DURING SEX YOU BURN AS MUCH CALORIES AS RUNNING FOR 5 MILES.
WHO THE FUCK RUNS 5 MILES IN 30 SECONDS?
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Wisdom Teeth Dicks
siouxchiefsouschef @legitwidget
overheard one kid at the Mall of America tell his friends he had to get his wisdom teeth out and his friend says “why? gotta make room for more dicks?” and wow insults have really come a long way since I was a kid
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Hooker Drowned 10 Minutes
When the hooker you just drowned still has another 10 minutes you paid for
made with mematic
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She Can Only Fasten 8
The teacher asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Mary said, “My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted the word ‘fascinate’.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Good, but I wanted the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten 8.”
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Family Racist
SADLY LEARNED MY FAMILY WAS RACIST. I DATED A BLACK GIRL AND BROUGHT HER HOME TO MEET THE THEM.
MY WIFE AND KIDS WOULDN’T EVEN TALK TO HER.
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First Football Game Sex
MY FIRST HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAME WAS A LOT LIKE THE FIRST TIME I HAD SEX
I WAS BLOODY AND SORE BUT AT LEAST MY DAD CAME
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Shot 38 Times Suicide
HEAR ABOUT THAT BLACK GUY WHO WAS SHOT 38 TIMES?
WORST CASE OF SUICIDE WE’VE EVER SEEN
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Jew In Oven
Carryout Orders:
76 LINDSEY – Now – Ready
78 MARTIN SCHMIDT – Now – Ready
79 LYNN MURRAY – Now – Ready
81 JEW – 4 minutes – In Oven
