You know that guy who made the movie “Super Size Me,” in which he gained 31 pounds after eating nothing but McDonald’s food for an entire month? That dude totally ripped me off. I did it first, except he filmed it or something.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Something’s messed up in the first place
They say that if you look at the sun too long, it can fry your brain. But the way I figure it is that if you look at the sun long enough to fry your brain, something’s messed up in the first place.
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Until somebody fixes my cable
I’ve recently discovered how to unite gravity with the strong and weak nuclear forces and the electromagnetic force. This finally completes the much-sought-after Grand Unified Theory that confounded even Albert Einstein. But I’m not going to tell anybody what it is until somebody fixes my cable.
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If your patio cushions were getting wet
I bet those thunderstorm relaxation CDs wouldn’t be as restful if you actually lived deep in the rainforest and had to constantly fight off the urge to get up and check if your patio furniture cushions were getting wet.
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Butterflies in my stomach
I’d never make it on one of those “Survivor” shows. Every time I think about eating something like caterpillars, I start to get butterflies in my stomach.
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You don’t get any bigger than that
If I could be any concept, I would be infinity, ’cause man, you don’t get any bigger than that!
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Scaring the crap out of the passengers
It was in 1875 that my great-great-grandmother Elsa began appearing on stages throughout the Old West, and scaring the crap out of the passengers.
