Sensitivity: Clean

Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • I stand corrected

    I thought physical therapy was a big scam until I finally went to one for my lower back.

    I stand corrected.

  • They’d crack each other up

    “Dad, why don’t eggs tell jokes?”

    Because they’d crack each other up.

  • Secret to a Long Life

    Secret to a Long Life

    Secret to a Long Life

  • It will still be stationary

    It doesn’t matter how much you push the envelope. It will still be stationary.

  • The Top 20 Brexitisms

    20. Czechout

    19. Byehamas

    18. AufWiederSpain

    17. Bolts-wanna

    16. ToStayOrTogo

    15. Cote de AuRevoir

    14. Canadivorce

    13. Fleeji

    12. Scootland

    11. Outdia

    10. Bounce-nia and Herewegoseeya

    9. Dubaibye

    8. Afghaniscram

    7. China-na-na, Hey Hey, Goodbye!

    6. Solongman Islands

    5. Australiaderci!

    4. Farewales

    3. Ethelopeia

    2. ColorMeGhana

    And the number one Brexitism…

    1. Greece Out

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  • Humans Eat More Bananas Than Monkeys

    I told my daughter, “Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?”

    She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered.

    “It’s true!” I said.

    “When was the last time you ate a monkey?!”

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  • That’s 15-love

    My wife said, “I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis.”

    I replied, “That’s 15-love.”

  • And then I saw her face

    When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
    And then I saw her face…

  • Apparently, ‘Anything’ Doesn’t Include Traffic

    A guy is sitting at a bar looking dejected.

    The bartender says, “What’s wrong, buddy?”

    The guy says, “My wife is divorcing me.”

    “Why? What happened?”

    “Well,” says the guy, “my wife said, ‘If anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new.’”

    “So?” says the bartender.

    The guy sighs. “Apparently, ‘anything’ doesn’t include getting stuck in traffic.”

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  • My Cat at 3AM

    My Cat at 3AM

    My Cat at 3AM